Never Ending Fun (that's me)

Out and about a while ago I saw a shirt that totally described me. Sadly, it was a cutsey girls shirt so I was in no way going to buy it. Plus it was rediculously expensive. Anyways, lots of reasons why I wasn't going to purchase it.

I've been described as a "weapon of mass distraction", "the minister of fun", "an attractive nuisance" and now as the embodiment of "never ending fun". One could say that I am an expert in "fun".

The New York Times Magazine has an article entitled "The Ethicist" where people write in asking questions of ethical nature. He, now she, being an expert on ethics and thus an ethicist and myself being an expert on fun and thus a funnist, should provide the same service to my blog readers. Here is the first letter to me as The Funnist.

Dear Funnist,
My girlfriend really really likes amusement park rides. For her birthday she really wants to go to Magic Mountain and ride as many rides as possible in one day. Even repeating rides if possible. I get violently ill on these sorts of things. I really love my girlfriend and want her to have a nice birthday, but I am afraid I will puke all over if I go on one of these rides like this, over and over. Possibly on her, myself or both of us.
What is the FUN thing to do??
Really Apprehensive Latino Potentially Hurling
Los A, CA

Dear RALPH,
What do you normally eat for breakfast? I would suggest NOT eating the Denny's Grand Slam that morning. How attractive is your girlfriend? Could you possibly find one more attractive, who doesn't have an affinity for extreme rides? Any other advice columnist at this stage would now say "seriously" and try to give you 'good' advice. Well, you wrote The Funnist, so I am here to give you the fun advice.

Eat a light breakfast, preferably one with a high liquid content. Stand in line next to the most annoying person you can find. Study the ride while you are in line then pick the seat that has you on the outside. Use centripetal force to your advantage, clearing yourself and the ride totally when your weak wussy stomach eventually does let go. With luck you might give your annoying friends from the line a souviner of their trip. Your girlfriend will be having so much fun, she won't be paying attention to you anyways. I also suggest Altoids or peppermint gum. Have fun!!

The Funnist