Revolutionary New Surgery

I need to be 136lbs by July 26th. So while I can exercise and diet to achieve my results, others can not.

In the moments where you are trying to find a TV channel with no commercials I happened upon a sort of infomercial about the banding surgery around people's stomachs. The focus was on how wonderful this works for people.

To me though it seems to be aiming at the wrong source of 'the problem'. It is not that you need a smaller stomach, it is that you need a smaller opening to actually put the food through!!

This revolutionary, painless, do-it-yourself surgery will cut your food intake down by 50% in just minutes of your time!! Here is what you do; take one tube of Superglue and apply a small bead from one corner of your mouth to the center. Close your mouth for one to two minutes and then the surgery is complete!!

Now you have the latest, cheapest, most direct way to reduce your caloric intake, reduce the size of your cake hole.