false alarm

so when i got up from this crash today, i couldn't move my pinky, it was twisted funny and hurt like heck! so i went straight from riding to the ER. 3 hours later they let me go and all is well. just a sprain and some soft tissue injury. don't even need to splint it even. thankfully!

i already have one finger with super limited mobility due to not getting it looked at, so i really felt i needed to go in, and make sure it didn't happen again. not being a wuss, just being careful. 'cause that's me. super careful. right?

you've got to be kidding me.....!!!!!!!!

my degree: BS in Radiologic Science/Nuclear Medicine option

my experience: 6 years as a nuc med tech

my licenses: two national, one state, cpr and all current

but yet i get a rejection letter today telling me my experience and education do not closely align with the FIVE job openings for a freaking nuclear medicine technologist position.

you've got to be kidding me. seriously? seriously!

and this is why you always....

.... do a pre-flight check of your bike. Motor or pedal.

I'm missing a very important nut/bolt style thing for my suspension linkage. I was going to go on a big ride this afternoon and this could have lead to disaster.

Trek won't carry this part in stock, so who knows how long till I can ride again....

And my other bike is missing a chain ring bolt as well. Dang it!

*UPDATE* Trek doesn't have these parts in stock. At all. So no idea when I'll be riding again. RAGE!

red coke. believe it or not.

ddddddrop

I got asked to teach the beginner and kids class at another jiu jitsu school. I have to say "no" for a couple of reasons. One, it would be highly frowned upon where I train currently. Two, I have no idea what is happening to me health wise. Could I really commit to it not knowing what is going to happen to me?

I'm super flattered by the offer and seriously considered it, how often does one get the chance to earn money from jiu jitsu? Not often!!

One of my mountain biking buddies bought himself a trials bike from the UK. He came over and I built it for him yesterday. A bike with no seat! I could have used that last weekend when mine fell off after landing from a big jump. HA!

It was a simple, but interesting bike build. I of course rode it around as well and did a few little tricks for him. I hope he likes riding it and learns some good bike skills. I'm seriously thinking about getting a dirt jump or slope style bike to work on some new riding skills as well.


And circling back to brazilian jiu jitsu, my instructor Andre Galvao just won his weight and the open division at the most prestigious no-gi/submission wrestling tournament in the world, the ADCC. This year it was held in the UK, which had me worried as he told me a funny story about being deported from the UK before, hahaha.

So we all threw him a surprise celebration and birthday party last night. It just goes to show the truth of the axiom, "It pays to be a winner" when he told us he won $50,000 over the weekend.

Training with him and the rest of the Atos team, when I'm able, is just amazing. How often does one get to be with people who are the best in the world at what they do? When I'm healthy I'm able to train at an academy with guys who are multiple world champs at gi and no gi, from blue to black belt. Simply an amazing opportunity.





My experiences over the weekend downhilling at another level and hanging with my jiu jitsu gang has got me pondering what to do.... I haven't been able to train for a year and some with jiu jitsu and I don't know when I'll be able to again. My biking has gone up another level and I'm actually getting close to being "good".

I see my potential at either athletic endeavor, but I really want to focus on just one thing. I want to be really really really good at something. But which one do I choose?

The hell you say....

I got an email from my GI doctor on sept 16 saying my outside referral for a second opinion was approved by my HMO. Basically saying, they'll call you.

TEN days later, nothing. So I call them. "Ohhhh, Mr B..... we sent you a letter. You didn't get it?"

"If I got it would I be calling you?" So they give me a bunch of information I write down. Both telephone numbers given me by my HMO were wrong. Go figure. I finally get registered as a patient in the other health system and then call my new doctor's office for a second opinion to get an appointment.

They have absolutely zero information from my HMO about me or my visit or anything. So I had to request my HMO re-initiate the whole process over again. Then the new health system needs a week to review my information. Ttttthhheeeennn I can call them and make an appointment with the new guy for my second opinion.

Just when I was starting to feel good about my HMO again, reality strikes back.

old people....

I just don't get old people. Here are things that drive me crazy about them.

-They are always freaking cold. And complaining about it. And messing with the heater's thermostat. The seem to always be at one extreme temperature, hot or cold, and its ability to render them helpless or incredibly annoyed by it.

-They have zero adaptability. Don't you dare do anything or put them in any situation where they have to get up at a different time than normal. Or eat anything off their regular constant menu. They seem to be ruled by routine.

-Patronizing. You could be a successful 30 year old but they will still treat you like you are 15, giving you driving directions, little Prairie Home Companion quips about how to live life, just a constant barrage on how to do things better.

-Zero knowledge of modern technology. Do you know a single person over 60 who can text? Or who were able to set up their tv and dvd and cable correctly?

I have "old people" I love in my life. Some of them even read this blog, so a step up in the technology section of my post. But I really just don't get old people...

Edit-I can only think of two instances being stuck with an 80 year old is better than an 8 year old. One, when you need to park in a handicapped spot. Two, if you're waiting for an inheritance. Otherwise, I think I'd rather be with 8 year olds.

Not the Shining

Here is the lodge we are staying at in Colorado. While cool on the outside I'd call it two and a half or maybe 3 stars at the most.

And speaking of 'cool', it was 30 degrees F this morning! Yikes. Good thing there is a sauna in the lodge open till 10pm.

Now to see if I can maim, mangle and bloody the friends I brought with me!

Documentary

I love documentary films. I kick myself now I didn't try and work my connections harder when I had dinner in Munich Germany with a documentary film maker......

Originally I thought this year's best was the one about A Tribe Called Quest.

But tonight I am going to see Senna, and I think my mind might be changed. While at the time, I was more of an Alain Prost fan Senna has made a greater mark on history. And he is Brazilian.

I'll post a quick impression tonight or in a few days as I'll be on the road all day tomorrow.

Senna, 9:40, Hillcrest.

I hate the changes FB has made. I'll be on it another few weeks just to keep telling people I'm leaving. Google + from then on out!

So if you want to be part of my social network, find me on Google+ under my same FB name, "Rowdy Matt".

Do it, you'll like it.

10 Thing You Didn't Know About Rowdy

1. I don't have a belly button. In its place is a surgical scar.

2. My favorite frosting has to be made from scratch. You can not buy it anywhere. 1 tub whipped cream, with one cup removed. Add an equal part marshmallow cream. Take peppermint candy and crush it into a fine powder. Add to the other ingredients and whisk together. A super delicious frosting, especially for angel food cake!

3. I shave my armpits. I think my deodorant works better and it looks better as I have little body hair.

4. I have no tattoos. But I did have my left nipple pierced for about a year.

5. I did not attend my college graduation. Even though I was the second person in my family to ever graduate from college and was bribed with the idea of a possible Rolex as a graduation gift I still didn't go. I detest formal things like that.

6. I only learned how to swim within the past 4 years. Growing up we never were in water much. And the times in summer we were in a pool you just played, no real swimming skill required. It wasn't until I started learning to surf that knowing how to swim became a needed skill.

7. I was an early adopter of the internet. I was online in 1996. But I was also a late adopter of personal computers, being just the right age to never have to take computer classes in school. I had to take a year of typing in junior high! And in high school we could still turn in major papers hand written. So yeah, I was on AOL when you could still have a 5 character screen name.

8. I have been married 3 times. Practice makes perfect right??

9. I was sent home from second grade for using the 'F' word. And fighting. You can't name a red headed boy Rowdy and not expect this behavior to show up early.

10. I'm actually a soft hearted romantic. I enjoy playing in the park with little kids. I can lay on my back and look at clouds or trees or the ocean for hours. I cry in movies and such as my heart strings are easily pulled. I cry during the national anthem. Not sobbing, but tears roll down my cheeks. I can't even have a pet because I feel like I'm depriving another creature of its natural life and liberty.

10,000 hours makes you an expert

According to M. Gladwell, you need to have ten thousand hours in at something to be an expert in it. That is roughly 5 years of 40 hours a week at something.

I was a part time white belt at brazilian jiu jitsu from 1999 to 2001. Then I stopped. I started back big time into jiu jitsu in February of 2008 and went at it for at least 15 hours a week for almost exactly two years, February 2010.

And then my medical nightmare began and I've been unable to train more than 3 months in the past 19 months.........

So I have 1,500 hours in, when I could possibly have at least 3,000. One third of the way to "expert". Or black belt. When in reality I'm a barely average purple belt.

But I went back tonight. And I'm gonna go back tomorrow. And keep going till I have to quit.

video from race day!

What's the difference between me and others?

I often will do what thy won't. I'm not quitting jiu jitsu until I'm crippled. It doesn't matter that I have two holes in me.

After doing almost 30 minutes of mild circuit training this morning for the first time in two months, I feel I can give the beginner gi class a shot.

Tonight, 6pm, Atos with Andre Galvao. My return.

*********************************************************************

Secondly the medical update from today is this.... Get a second opinion from some super genius gastrointestinal doctor at UCSD. If he has no medical resolution for my fistulas with a greater than 20% chance of success then I have no other option but surgery.

Which will probably have to happen during a busy holiday season. It is what it is, and I'll just keep coming back terminator style.

Why I Never Went Pro

Both of my uncles were very successful motorcycle, snowmobile and sports car racers. My cousin was in the X Games this year and is a professional motorcycle racer.

It is in my blood. I had hopes, dreams, a real plan and the talent to roadrace motorcycles as a teen.

But what day of the week does every race in the world seem to happen on? Sunday. (That's why I had to do the downhill race yesterday on a rare Saturday.)

Sunday is a different day for me. A day devoted to things above and beyond the physical world. More important than racing. I donate 10% of my income to my church. So donating 1/7th of my week to religious observance and thought isn't that big of a stretch.

And it is something that I think in the long run will be better for me than having tried pursuing a career in racing as a teen.

hawt

i love this new pic of me!

A not so perfect 10

Yesterday I competed in my first downhill mountain bike race. I have raced bicycles before, cross country and most notably super d.

As I doubt many of my readers are bicycle racers I will give you a visual definition of the difference.

Cross country

Light weight bikes, 4" suspension travel, lots of climbing, spandex clothes, 2 or 3 hour long races, relatively easy terrain.

Super d

Medium weight bikes, 5-6" suspension travel, some climbing, a mix of clothing styles, 10-20 minute races, moderately challenging terrain.

Downhill

Heavy bikes over 40lbs often, 8" suspension travel, usually zero climbing, loose clothing and lots of padding, 3-6 minute races, challenging terrain and man made features.

I've raced super d quite a bit, have actually won races and finished in the top 3 for season points more than once in more than one series. Yesterday was my first downhill race and I finished 10th out of 16 riders in my class. This I guess should have been my realistic expectation of where I'd finish. I have to remember I lost my very first super d race...... And I came back from that to do better. So maybe I can do the same here.

It was fun, I'll do it again. And I'll do better. Video and pictures and such will be up in a few days for you to mock.

1-we know my picc line is in the wrong spot from an x-ray.
2-we know octreotide does not help me heal.
3-we know that being on tpn and npo did not work to heal me.
4-we have no idea how long it will take to get a 2nd opinion from a surgeon in my hmo and a gastrointestinal doctor from ucsd.
5-we know from my blood work and my clinical presentation that i am not suffering from a crohns flare up.
6-we know i can maintain weight and proper nutrition from eating.

so why in the hell would my surgeon ask me to go back to being npo (zero eating and drinking) and on tpn (the food and drink in a bag, given iv) until i can get these second opinions?

why follow what is an admittedly failing treatment course for an unknown amount of time? this question about my care and treatment plan is what has me soo furious. it is a non-answer and makes zero sense.

for over 12 months now i've been dealing surgery, emergency surgery, complications, misdiagnosis, failed treatments and a decidedly non-normal life.

this SEVERELY limits my life and completely undermines my happiness. just the thought of it makes me totally depressed and unpleasant to be around or live with.

hope is dieing within me. i'm up at 2am with a double does of benzodiazapenes in me and still can't sleep due to mental stress.

so now you know....i feel like i have zero control over life and that nothing i do matters.

My mid-life crisis officially starts today.

I've already owned a Porsche. And a convertible sports car. I still have fast motorcycles. I've already sky dived. Cage dived with sharks. Been to Cancun when I was older than 24. Road tripped across the western US by myself. Haven't had a mistress though.

While I've done already 80% of what a guy does for his mid-life crisis, mine officially starts today. I swear it.

lift and squat, gotta tear the ground

My favorite brazilian jiu jitsu video of all time. Helps that I know more than half the people in it too.

It gets me amped to get back on the mats! To put my natural talents to use!

And that I have my first downhill mountain bike race this Saturday!

Old motto was, "Action is the best response to misfortune."
New motto is "Attack life, it will kill you anyway."

Funny but True.

I am the worst gift wrapper in the world. Just as a retarded kid beat me at checkers in 3rd grade, a mentally normal 3rd grader could wrap gifts better than me.

The fact that I even got wrapping paper is amazing. For 20 years I've been able to wrap gifts with newspaper or pages torn out of a magazine and taped together. Heck, my Granny used to give us our gifts in a paper grocery store bag with the top folded over and rolled down.

Never mind the times she made us grab a check out of her shirt she'd stuffed in her bra!

My gift wrapping problem has got to be genetic. And I'm definitely expressing that allele.

Typical Rowdy wrapping. Not straight, not taut, random tape, sloppy corners, mucho extra paper, folding ends down different ways on the same gift. Oh yeah, classic Rowdy wrapping.

But not this classic Rowdy rapping. I can still do this whole song by heart.


To add just another lolz to the pile, my living room has a face and a smile.

My mom was right........

"If you want to stop being sad, stop thinking about yourself and start serving others."

I was in my 20's, having ex-wife trouble, girlfriend trouble, job trouble, health trouble when I called my mom at midnight, despondent.

The above sentence was her advice for me. At the time it seemed massively counter intuitive. How can doing something for someone else help ME with MY problems? What about ME?!?!?!

With urging I decided to take it. I found a nursing home to accept me as a volunteer and assigned me to an aloof, angry, lonely, wheelchair bound man. I won't go through the whole process and the years we spent together, but it worked.

I still have love for Bill in my heart and am crying now, thinking about when I heard he had died. I no longer lived in that state and went to see him while back visiting when I went to the home and learned the news.

Lately I had been feeling a bit of the same "me me me me me" type of thinking. I've enjoyed the week long of doing nice things for Super D's birthday and it got me thinking, making me receptive to something else.

Another friend K has filled what now seems to be an obvious void. Tomorrow I start volunteering again. Helping a newly "made" paraplegic with his new physical hobby. I was teary at the thought of it, so I knew it was the right thing, at the right time. For him and me.

My mom was right, if you want your life to be better, stop thinking about yourself and start serving others.

phone photo dump

One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just isn't the same. (it's better!)
Reason #2 why I can't do everything I want.
Oh wow, take me back to my childhood in Kennewick. I was drawing hydroplanes before airplanes.
My new custom made name stickers. Soon to be on everything! (a post about that later)
"The Rowdy". A glass mug from the freezer. 1 part Sprite, 4 parts limeade strained of pulp, 4 Otterpops.
Googe. It's a real word. Reason #1 I can't do everything I want.
Red Rocks, Denver. Not Vegas.
What 12 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts look like.
Rowdy Style lets you mix stripes and patterns.

Night of the Living Taco pt2 The Forking

I finally had enough yesterday. I ate a totally regular breakfast, lunch and dinner yesterday. The first time eating normally in 29 days!!!!

And then guess what?!?!?!

I didn't plug into my TPN either. I just went to bed like a normal person. And had the best sleep I've had in the past 29 days as well.

My guts didn't explode. My fistula and tummy actually look better. I feel better mentally and physically.

Now I just need to get the stupid picc line taken out. And soon!! I'll have to tell my surgeon about this, but he is supposed to contact me today and I'll do it then. Plan wasn't working so I deviated from it. Time for a new plan.

Not really planning this out or having too much control of what was available to eat, this is what I had yesterday.

Breakfast:
water
scrambled eggs
potatoes and salsa
a crappy breakfast burrito (just 3 bites)
french toast and syrup

Lunch:
brownie
orange juice
2 cans soda
pizza

Dinner:
3 cookies
orange juice
steamed broccoli
turkey spaghetti

It's on now!! I really need this picc line out of my arm for sure! And I don't think I'm gonna even bother to order a new batch of tpn today.......

On a day...

On a day when soo many who have died are remembered, I'd like to write about the times lives have been saved. Not to discount the enormity of 9-11, but to also focus on life, living.

-When I was a 4 year old my aunt Jeanie saved me from drowning in my grandma's swimming pool. Later my mom would save one of her kids from the same fate.

-I was in a restaurant with family for a wedding celebration dinner when my sister in-law TrackStar stands up, yelling "someone help my baby!" At this point I stand up and ask what is wrong and she throws my infant nephew to me. He wasn't breathing, just open mouth gaping. I flip him over and give him baby Heimlich maneuver and up comes the food he was choking on.

The buzz lasted for hours and I felt that if I never did anything good again in life or died that night, I had served a good purpose just once for someone else.

-One of my patients was slipping into a diabetic coman, and worse during the initial part of a PET scan. No one else was there to help me or tell me what to do, but as I saw his heart rate drop into the 20's and his blood pressure fall to 68/40 I acted. I followed the protocol for this situation (which I don't even remember now) and the patient recovered, lived and had no ill effect or even memory of how close they came to death.

-I was hiking in the Sierra Nevada mountains in November with my then girlfriend. We were walking along tall rocks near an ice and snow covered stream when she slipped and fell into the moving water. I was able to move across the rocks to catch her and pull her from the stream. Completely soaked in below freezing temperatures, 4 miles from my truck, in winter.

She had brought no spare clothes and didn't want to move. It began to snow. I stripped off the clothes I was wearing and took hers off. I put my warmed clothes on her. I put the just barely enough spare clothes I had in my pack and threw her wet clothes in the pack. With dry clothes on it was time to get her out of the weather.

With cajoling, pushing and prodding I got us back to the truck before dark. I didn't have any food in the truck so I had no calories to put in her, but I got her home and into a warm bath and drinking warm drinks with lots of fat and calories.

All men die, but not all men live.

Live.

What do you think?

Just fooling around. What do you think of this as a kind of "stock" credit for my videos?

Hulk Not Smash

I know I'm not big but I can still be muscly and fit. And I have been. Doing a quick check of other stuff I cam across measurements of my biceps with my arms extended before going on tpn and two days ago.

In 4 weeks of this "diet" and doing nothing physically taxing at all, I have lost 3.25cm in bicep circumference. Of for you American readers 1.3 inches.

I've easily lost 6-8lbs of muscle from my upper body, and it shows. =(

Night of the Living Taco

My picc line (fancy IV I get my tpn ((food)) through) has been pulled out too far during a careless nurse's dressing change and the insertion site is acting inflamed. The line needs to be pulled and that will be decided the beginning of the week.

My right side scar's fistula is leaking and has been for well over a week. My midline scar is red, hard, swollen and looking angry. The fistula there is more than likely going to reappear.

Put all these things together, a failing picc line plus a non working treatment plus hedonistic hunger pains plus just being sick and tired of being sick, tired, not normal and they lead to you standing at Roberto's Taco Shop ordering a beef taco and a fish taco.

To be honest, I've had little bits of snacks off and on since the 3rd week of this treatment. But never full on food and never this big. Three Otter Pops does not equal the digestive equivalent of two tacos, that is for sure!

So, being rowdy I went for it. And spent the night with a mouth full of saliva thinking I was going to vomit. The worst heartburn I have EVER experienced in my whole life and the roiling, gurgling, churning of a digestive system asked to work on tacos when it's been on vacation for a month.

Was suffering through the night of the living taco worth it? The jury is still out. While I was eating at 7pm last night I would have emphatically said yes. At 4am in the bathroom I would have as strongly said no.

The beginning of the coming work week will hopefully give me the answers I seek.

Love they neighbor??

For my neighbor with the 6 annoying Dachshunds....... enjoy the sweet music of chainsaws this morning at 830am from the tree service at my house.

2012 Lamborghini Aventador party pics

Private jets from Citations to G4, Lamborghinis from Coutach to brand new Aventador, models and millionaires, fancy free food and drink. All in all a pretty good party.


At least in pictures I look normal and healthy. Well in pictures with my shirt on....
This picture is about the time someone asked me, "Are you a professional skateboarder or something?"

FML

It doesn't matter how "rich" you are, unless you're Saudi prince level of rich, you can't buy private health insurance that will cover your preexisting condition. You'll face a year of non coverage for that condition, a cap on the amount of benefits paid relating to it and an exorbitant premium.

Untitled from rowdy matt on Vimeo.

Every body tells a story.......

A majority of Rowdy injuries through the years. Click on the image for a picture you can then zoom with your mouse.

hate sometimes isn't a strong enough word

Little Rad Riding Rowdy

Is it still fasting if I can't eat?

If you are a new or casual reader you might not know this, but I am not supposed to be eating or drinking anything at all right now. This is part of the process in healing a complication from bowel surgery last year. I get "all I need" through an i.v. each night, so I'll live but it is not fun. This is supposed to cease in October.

My physical activity level is also supposed to be reduced at this time, as I receive a set amount of calories and hydration. Doing too much of anything would put me at a deficit or mess up my i.v. line. Basically the rules are don't sleep on my left side, don't lift more than 10 pounds and don't do anything to the level of causing me to sweat.

No eating, no drinking, no doing anything. Sounds like worse than jail but without the threat of rape. Detainees at Gitmo potentially do more than I do.

As part of my spiritual development I fast for two meals the first Sunday of each month. I believe there is a spiritual world and a physical world and that we as human beings reside in both. By fasting I subjugate my physical self to my spiritual self.

Normally on this day going without food from 7am till 3pm can be moderately challenging. But as I haven't really eaten in 21 days, fasting today was a non issue.

I still sometimes have considerable hunger pangs though. Yeah, my first dentist as a kid was Dr. Pang and pang is back in my life again. I always thought it was hunger 'pain' but in my boredom and researching whether this feeling would ever go away, I learned the correct term is hunger 'pang'.

They say, those horrible know it all "theys", that a person's physiological desire for food should go away and that what is in my i.v. sustenance has enough fat and protein for you to feel satisfied.

They're WRONG. I'm suffering horribly from what is technically called hedonistic hunger. My stomach doesn't growl or feel knotted up, but my mind races to, latches on and is often obsessed beyond my control with food.

Oddly enough it is not sugar that I want but savory things. Meat. Spicy stuff. Things you chew with a multitude of flavors. Complex food with textures, aromas.

May 21st makes me a Gemini, though I don't hold much into astrology. But my life and much of what happens it does seem to be a dual nature. Is it fasting if I can't eat? Are they hunger pains or pangs?

Looking at the stats on my Youtube channel today I saw this, Total Upload Views:71,609

Over seventy freaking thousand views of my videos in the past 4 years. Unbelievable!

My Youtube channel

DaVinci not Bach

While a majority of my family has some sort of natural musical talent, I did not inherit any of it. My creative and artistic side has come out more naturally in drawing, writing, paint and things like that. Not music. I could sculpt marble sooner than learn a musical instrument. Hmmmm.... that's a thought.

A friend was over yesterday and was playing my guitar, the one I'm going to sell as I just don't enjoy the learning process like I thought I would. He was chiding me for not using it and I explained that I would just rather be doing other things, it hasn't sparked in me. Mentally I thought learning the guitar would be awesome, but physically I can't stand it.

On a positive note, note hahaha, I have earned a greater appreciation for the people who can do things musically now.

So when it came time for me to express myself in the past few days I decided to paint my Leatt brace a custom color. Most of the models come in black only and a very few in white. So I decided on chrome. You know it! Here are some pics of the process. I think it turned out great and I have a one of a kind Leatt now.





Hard to see in these low-res pictures, but I'm wearing the finished product.




Know anyone that wants to buy a guitar and amp? $500.