Reality check, not gut check.

So in almost 8 months of not sparring or taking a real class I went for it and went to the advanced class tonight at jiu jitsu. I was going to do the whole thing for the first time.

Notice the past tense. My Acquacell AG fell out pretty quickly but my gauze and tape stayed on over my tiny tiny wound where it has yet to close. I did just fine for a first day back really in 8 months, and not being skilled to begin with. I mean, yeah I'm a purple belt or whatever, but I am by no means the star of the class at that belt. I'm actually lagging behind. Duh, I was gone 8 months! hahaha.

So about a hour into class I am totally dizzy and just spent. Done. I asked to sit out and Andre quizzed me about what was wrong and he just fed me a bunch of electrolytes. I felt better in about 20 minutes and then class was basically done.

My stomach muscles hurt just barely. More from being cut up and not being used than from anyone abusing me at class. My fingers are sore from gripping the gi. But I basically sucked tonight. Should I have expected any less? I really need to find a gun that can kill my ego. One shot, one kill.

Earlier in the day I had emailed Andre about competing in the IBJJF tournament in Phoenix. I love competing. Win or loose. But there is stupid and there is smart. He advised me to wait. My heart and mind want me to go, but he is probably right. So I am not going.

He asked me to go fight in a tournament May 8th, but I told him I don't fight on Sunday due to religious beliefs. He of course respected that decision.

Man this is such a long road back. I'm only 66% of the dude I was before, in almost any way you can measure it. And that sucks.