Ancient Chinese secret huh..??

Did you ever hear the security urban legend about how the Chinese are secretly putting code into all the computer hardware they manufacture to build a huge net they can control and bring the US to its knees. If needed. This is too obvious. I think there is a much more sinister plot.

Secret. Panda. Army.

Yes, the SPA.

The first hint was the Strong Bad web cartoon for the "fake" group Pistols for Pandas. A group wanting to provide arms to pandas so they can defend themselves and avoid extinction.

The first step was arming them. It didn't work. But in thinking about it and doing some detective work, I discovered the truth!

Remember the zoo employee here in San Diego who was bitten by a panda last month? Well guess what, it wasn't a little love nibble. That panda bit through both bones in her lower leg. Munched 'em like a dog chewing on chicken bones.
"Yeah, I bit her. And I'll do it again."

When you can't get the weapons to the pandas, make the pandas the weapon.

All the pandas in the US are on "loan" from China. We pay $1,000,00 US dollars a year for this privilege. You've been conditioned to think of them as harmless, cute. They are in strategic locations all through the US. We even assist them in breeding new panda soldiers. Think about it.

Don't fear China owning all our debt. Don't fear a war over Taiwan. Don't fear a secret computer invasion. Fear an unstoppable army of pandas.

Fear the bear. The Secret Panda Army.