Veritas odit moras. -OR- Lessons learned working the past two weeks.

1. I can be angry or upset but I can still be nice. I like things to happen a certain way, the way I imagined. Or for someone or something to happen when scheduled. If not, then my initial response is to be unhappy. Angry.

No matter how peeved I get, no matter how much I am screaming out curses inside my head I can still be nice. They seem like ideas that are impossible to hold inside a person at the same time and maybe they are to an extent.

But I find if I acknowledge my feelings and then consciously determine my response to them, things go better. For my and who I'm dealing with. This is a new revelation to me.

2. Equal measure real and fake. Again a theme of duality. Guess who is a Gemini? In this case it is lighting. For the past year if I wanted sunlight I got sunlight. If I wanted to be inside, I was inside.

Like a cold blooded lizard I could control my sun exposure by moving about at will during the course of the day. Being a wage slave has taken this away from me. For the 9 hours I am at work during the day I see about 18 minutes of sunlight and then only through a distant window.

Computer monitors, LED track lighting and fluorescent bulbs light my day, if they are even on above a dull dim.

I've found I need exposure to the outside in greater amounts than I've been receiving. Sunlight. Air. Just being "outside".

(i went to college in a town with long winters and would visit a tanning salon every two weeks or so all through out winter. it made a difference markedly in my sense of well being)

3. I like chatting. I may not be the best conversationalist as I often can only talk about myself 'cause I'm no longer 25 and think I have all these great original ideas or philosophies. Or need to talk about the mystery of life and what it all means.

But I do like to just talk and talk about stuff. Find what is interesting to the other person and talk about it. The past two weeks I don't get to talk to anyone except in short bits and it is 95% about work.

Hmmmm, reading the three things listed you could get the impression my work day is spent mostly alone, in dim artificial light, not getting to talk about anything but business and feeling slightly irritated to angry. You'd be pretty correct.

4. I'm a fast worker. I value speed above over almost all else in completing a task. I hate waste and inefficiency. Zoom and bust stuff out and then rest. Processes and people should be set up to get stuff done in the easiest way possible.

The failing of this often leads back to #1. I can work at a very fast pace for 8 or 9 hours a day but if I have to do it because I'm loaded down with extraneous duties, busy work, redundancies or to make up for other people slacking?

Well something is wrong and should be changed. Forget tradition, culture, inertia and fear. Make changes! Improve.