What I want..... I get.

For so long now, 7 months, I haven't been able to do what I want, in the way I want. On the surface that seems very childish and self centered. I don't know how to reconcile that, or even write it in a more appropriate way.

What I have been doing 95% of the past seven months is doing what I needed to do, all things involving staying alive and dealing with the nightmare medical journey I've been on.

Previously the challenges I wanted in my life were all physical. To run faster, be stronger, get better at riding my mountain bike and of course everything tied into brazilian jiu jitsu. The challenges from my surgeries and health issues have been 66% physical and 34% mental, so even than a lot of what I had to put out most of my effort into was doing something physical.

I am feeling better physically than I have in the past half year and so my mind then has time to wander and my body starts to feel like everything is A-OK and I should be just out there doing my rowdy thing, in rowdy style. But I physically can't. I have doctor imposed limitations that I really have to follow.

Which is good that thanks to some natural desire and the help of my dad I was able to find a new challenge. Something I can do at home and is a total challenge to me in soooooo many ways.

Learning to play the guitar!! Monday I got a brand new Fender Stratocaster and all the stuff I needed to get started.

This is a challenge and I love it! (even though I whine about how sore the ends of the fingers on my left hand are) I'm sure the 30 minutes a day I practice could easily morph into something more.

I wanted a challenge........... well now I have one!!