Kill or be killed.

I went to open mat tonight to get the obligatory medal photos with my instructors, Fabio Santos and Alex Brandao. I know it's only second place but I put in hard work and I'm only as good as the people I roll and train with. So I want to share my joy with them as well.

Me with my medal, smiling like a goofy fool.

Me and Alex.

Me and Fabio.

After my pics with Fabio he asked my age and weight and then reached down and untied my belt. Frankly, I paniced and started to tear up. I didn't want a purple belt. Thankfully as I followed him off the mat I saw that he was getting the tape to add a stripe. No wait, what? Stripes?!?!? Three of them??

Freak! Now I am a 4 stripe blue belt. Careful what you wish for...yah, you know the rest.

For those of you not in the know, ranking in brazilian jiu jitsu (bjj) is a mix of subjective and objective. While in other arts you put in your time and do the forms and break the boards you advance. In most traditional martial arts you can be a black belt in 3 years it seems.

Not so jiu jitsu. Many people are still a blue belt at 3 years. The belt system being in order white, blue, purple, brown and finally black. Within each belt is a system of 4 stripes to show your progress within the rank. It is commonly accepted that getting a black belt in jiu jitsu takes about 6 to 10 years. And even if you trained that long, unless you can do the techniques on someone who is actively resisting you, fighting you, you can't advance.

I was a white belt for 6 months and then became a blue belt. I've been a blue belt close to 17 months (a year and half almost) exactly. Now with 4 stripes I am close to purple. Yikes. This is significant. Training in BJJ is like crabs in a barrel. You only advance by taking out people better than you. I have now been marked as a top level blue belt. Which means that I went from being a surprise when I beat someone to now it being actually expected of me. Someone close to me told me I have a fear of success. I don't know....

Am I worthy of this? I don't know. Well, I expected a stripe after placing at the Pan Am's and I didn't. Then almost 9 months later I got one stripe just for my advancement in skill. Two months after that I had three heaped on me in one night! It is my thinking that I probably earned one for the Pan Am showing, one for skill level and then one for this latest tournament. So really I guess I am "heavy" only one stripe. Like Chuck D of Public Enemy said, "my Uzzi weighs a ton."

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is all about performance, and now I have to perform. Which leads to my new motto, stated in the title.(while still hopefully maintaining my goofy rowdy smile and nature)

Kill or be killed.