Dear

Dear scrubs, I am sorry we no longer work together but I do want to thank you for being such great pajamas.

Dear NyQuil, why do you bother to put dosage information on your label? You have a cup on top of your lid. However big that cup is, that is how much I take. Simple. If you want me to take 'half a dose cup' then just make the cup half the size it is currently. Right?

Dear laptop battery, you've changed and I don't like it. You used to run for at least 2 hours for me back in Iraq but now you barely run 20 minutes. What have I done that you can only stand to be with me for 20 minutes?

Dear cold virus, I hate you. And if you mess up my Remicade infusion because of the terrible cough you've given me I will hate you for the rest of my life. We never had to be together before? I used to see you only every two years for just a few days. Why do you like me soo much now? PS-Your buddy phlegm can leave with you too, the sooner the better!!

Dear motorcycle, thank you for always being ready to have fun. You're a little taller than what I'd like but your personality makes up for it.

Dear Hot Tamales candy, you're great. Don't ever change!