Go see the Macbeth movie. The film is fantastic in its visuals and also makes the dialogue accessible to most people as well.

I absolutely hate California and can not wait to leave this state. And the people who love it are probably just as happy I'm leaving. They can have it!

TV for me!!

Guess who is cast for season 4 of the competition shooting tv show "The Right Stuff"?

Just one guess......

Ok, so the move to Little Rock next year is a GO. Jobs are lined up, houses have been looked at, matches found, a church to attend, restaurants checked out and plans to learn about the new area's nature, culture and history have been made.

But that leaves one major and one minor thing left. San Diego. I gotta sell a house in San Diego as the major thing. And I'd really love to sell my vacant land in east county as the minor thing.

Jobs have been told a start date of June 1, 2016. Can I sell a house in 4 months?

Thankful

I'm thankful that I can just eat. As someone who has had over 12 surgeries on my intestines and lived off IV feeding only for 3 months and was told I'd be nutritional cripple... Well on a holiday for thanks and with a big food component I am happy to just be able to eat.

Seriously? My triglycerides are over 250!?!?! I feel sorry for anyone carrying my genetics and the medical lottery that entails.

-red hair
-crohns
-short
-high cholesterol

At least I'm not crazy...... right?

There's a war going on outside no man is safe from. You can run but you can't hide forever.

Thanks James Franco and Luke Skywalker

Ended my night by being told, "dude, a lot of people hate you." Basically peanut butter and jealous. Sadly a light saber won't fix the problem in this cantina. More likely the better choice is just keeping my mouth shut.

Crazy

I kinda feel like I'm going a weird kind of crazy. I have been absolutely unable to sleep more than 5 hours a night for the past 6 nights. No naps later, no substance use, no extra stress.

My room has no light pollution. No noise. My bed is just fine. I exercise. I do not drink caffeine after 2pm. I stop using my phone or computer about a hour before I want to sleep.

And yet every night now I fall asleep at 10pm and wake up at 3am like it is a regular thing to do for a person.

It is not!

I don't know which is worse, waking up every night to a nightmare but getting 8 hours of sleep or trouble free sleep but for only 5 hours???

Money

Wow, I just paid for my personal athlete facebook page to be promoted! Results I hope are good!?!?

Me or ??

Who's got the sweetest disposition?
One guess -- guess who!
Who never never starts an argument?
Who never shows a bit of temperament?
Who's never wrong but always right?
Who'd never dream of starting a fight?
Who gets stuck with all the bad luck?
No one... but ______________________!!

o s, krs;pid pg yjr syyrmyopm kimopt smf ep,rm djppyrtd hry

tweet tweet

So I'm back to using my twitter account again. Should you have the extra brain cells and boredom follow @rowdstar and I'll follow you back. Promise. Oh and I promise to post pictures of my lunch, the cat, where I am in the world and some sort of semi whitty rejoinder.

1776 and 1492

I've been to a lot of countries in the world. Generally at the end of my stay while I appreciate what I've seen and experienced I still feel that America is one of the better places to live in the world. Very few of us worry about clean water. The electricity and telephone networks work 24 hours a day. You can get an apartment without being on a waiting list. I've never paid a bribe in the US. My vote gets counted. I can practice a religion without fear. You sure can't say these things about most other places in the world I have been.

Sorry America but where I think you could use some help from you foreign brothers is in how people drive on the highway. Of the first world countries I've driven in the US is by far the worst for people just staying to the left, driving below the limit and not moving over to let someone pass.

Come on US drivers, get it together and stop being left lane bandits!

Trust

I have two more days of background checks to be completed before I know if I get my Trusted Traveler/Global Entry status from DHS. Should I worry? Well....... Things started rough in the interview when I had to explain why my income doesn't match their idea of someone who has traveled as much as I do. I think I overcame that one to the interviewing agent's satisfaction.

Middle of interview was fine. Then we get to the end and final question, "Have you ever been arrested, detained, handcuffed or fingerprinted?" I had to answer yes. Two years ago I was fingerprinted by Harbor Police at the San Diego airport as I had mistakenly left ammunition on my carry on bag and it was detected at screening. Everyone was cool and I boarded the plane on time and just fine.

But it was still an "incident", and the agent said it might prohibit my enrollment in the program and I'd lose my $100 application fee. My interview was the 2nd, so I should know by the 12th.............. if DHS trusts me or not.

Choices

I like to do two things that others sometimes question. Shoot guns and ride motorcycles. Both are things people think of in some way as dangerous or not a necessary activity. Now if I had to choose just one of them to participate in I'd probably choose motorcycles. If I had to only do one for the rest of my life I'd prefer to ride a motorcycle around.

Now if you were talking about the right to do something, I'd go with firearm ownership. I'd rather have my transportation rights restricted than something mentioned in the Constitution.

So it really shouldn't be surprise then that I went for a ride this Labor Day morning. With my GoPro.

I won my division and the overall for the match today. Yeah! Feels good. It was a very long day though!

At the last indoor match I met and Adidas rep and got a deal for half off anything from Adidas. So I'm gonna take big time advantage of this shoe deal! Casual, outdoor, cleats, clothes. And of course for Super D as well.

I shaved my head. My hair is about 1/8th of an inch. At most. I like it. Well what I actually like is not having to do anything to it or think about it. That is what I like!

My interview with DHS went well right up until they asked me if I've ever been fingerprinted, handcuffed, detained and so on. Told them the story and they said they'd have to investigate and since it did happen at an airport I might not be granted my Global Entry/Trusted Traveler/Sentri. And lose the $100 fee. Sigh.....

My buddy DO came back from 5 months of work in Singapore this week and today was the first day I saw him. Felt good to see a friend after a long absence.

Killer moved outta the house. He is in a different state and will hopefully be doing college type stuff there. Fingers crossed.

I have a cut on my right eye lid that is driving me crazy! Painful and irritated. Yuck.

And in the whiney department, one of my motorcycles has a significant leak from the seal around the fuel pump in the gas tank. So that is going to be a bear to fix as it's an aftermarket tank and installing it was not fun and a two person job. It worked great for 6 months but if it happens again I'll go back to the stock tank.

Very excited to see Little S in three weeks and visit Spain again. I should get on my Spanish study again! ssiiigghhh....

For the Labor Day holiday will go for a hike and probably motorcycle ride. Tuesday I'm on house arrest basically as I have to wait all day for UPS to show up, for the third time, so they can get my apparently very valuable signature.

So yeah, that's the recap. Good night dear readers!

Set your goals!

At each big USPSA match I've been to this year my overall placing has improved, but for the National Championships where you have to look at my classification placing to see the trend continue.
Area 2 Desert Classic this March I was 19th overall in Production, shooting 67%. And 4th B.
Golden Bullet this May I was 10th overall in Production, shooting 71%. And 4th A.
Production National Championships this August I was 101st overall, shooting 70%. And 11th A.
Utah State this August as well I was 9th overall, shooting 88%. And 2nd A.

My percentage of the match winner is getting better, my overall is getting better and my class finish is getting better. Onward and upward!

In two weeks I go the the IDPA World Championships. Last year I was division champion for ESP in an Arizona match. At the US IDPA Championships last year I was 16th place in SSP Master. IDPA and USPSA are both pistol shooting competitions but they are decidedly different, so hard to make a direct comparison. None the less I've been improving this year in USPSA so I hope I'm also improving in IDPA.

With that in mind my goal this year is to be in the top 10 at the IDPA Worlds for my division, SSP. I'm already at the top skill class for IDPA, Master, so overall finish is all that really counts. Trending shows I should be able to do it, tough goal it is though.....

I have a challenging IDPA match in Los Angeles this Saturday, and I am going to shoot it aggressively. I will probably not win with this strategy but I want to push myself a little. Find the edge by going over it. Then the following weekend I have one closer in in San Diego and I'm going to shoot it as cleanly as possible. Ratchet things back down and be more precise, so I'll probably win as I can't remember the last Pala IDPA match I didn't win the overall when I competed..... Been at least a year.

Two weeks from now you should see my post on facebook smiling, saying "I did it!"

Art. Deception.

I have a book, now out of print, entitled "The Art of Deception". Initially one would think this book is about how to deceive but rather it is about detecting other's deception and countering it. Primarily in verbal or written communication. (For body language I recommend the book "What Every Body is Saying")

Which in my stream of conscious thought leads me to wanting to post this poster of logical fallacies. Read it and weep when you realize how often you've made these errors tying to prove a point. That is if you are a real Scotsman....

Ricky Bobby

Hey, we have the same initials! And I've sadly had to come to the same realization that if you're not first, you're last.

The competitive field I am in is very small at the top. It's not like the NFL where there are hundreds of people getting rich and good paychecks. If you're not at the pinnacle you basically don't exist. Which is kinda me right now and it is a crushing feeling.

Last week one of the top people posted a video of him training with an agility ladder for shooting. On my own and months ago I had been doing the same thing. I posted on FB and some shooting forums about it and was basically dismissed in my opinions and training methods. But this guy does it and everyone says "oh, that's why he's the champ", "what a cool new idea", "innovator".

But until I win something on a regional or national level, no one is going to care about my opinion or methods. Which is tough when you're still working hard but just not quite there.

If you aint first, you're last.

Espana

So after going to Little S' birthday party it's back off to Spain again. This time with Super D. I'm thinking 4 days in Madrid as that's the area I know best. Then two days time each down south in Seville and time up north in Bilbao.

Just checking around it's kinda sad that leaving from the east coast doesn't make travel to Europe any easier. And it doesn't look like I'll have my global entry stuff done with DHS by that time either. Oh well, there is always the November trip to take advantage of that nicety.

Any fall or winter travel plans for my readers?

Le Sigh

I have tried a lot of positive self talk but my land ordeal, and especially now its subsequent costs, are really depressing me. I'm not interested in my hobbies. I'm not sleeping well. I have a hard time thinking about other things. I'm cranky at every little thing. I'm eating food in excess. All the classical signs of depression.

I'm aware of it, but not doing a good job of defeating it. Like they said in the movie, "Life is pain, anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something." Thanks a lot Dread Pirate Roberts!

Sadly there is no simple way to make it go away. The county is not letting go at all. I read 68 pages of County code today related to grading and brush clearing and it looks abysmal for me as far as a what I see as a positive outcome. More so the cost of the action items they require just kills me. I spent 3 grand a few weeks ago and will have to spend twice that again still to finally be finished.

I'm unsure of what to do and how to handle it. What once seemed awesome now only bring unhappiness. The physical and emotional effects remind me of a bad break up, losing a job and similar life experiences.

Sigh.

But to be truthful this is more like what I do almost the entire time I'm at a match. 90% of the time you are just standing around waiting. It will take 6 to 8 hours out of the day for me to do 3 minutes worth of shooting.

The shootin'est, tootin'est varmit west of the Pecos!

Some pics of me working on another overall match win today. Should you be interested in this kind of practical pistol shooting you should go to www.idpa.com or www.uspsa.org and find a match near you. You don't have to take it as seriously as I do, not at all! But if you like shooting and have a free weekend day now and then it can be good fun and hopefully help you improve your shooting ability.

grrrrr

The housekeeper said today I look like a gangster or mafioso. Do you agree?


So I posted on FB a picture of my agility ladder and talked about how I use it for training for shooting. Most people kind of questioned it or dismissed it outright. Then I see a famous person posts a video of him today on FB using one and everyone thinks it's a great new idea. This actually makes me kinda angry. I don't like being dismissed or marginalized because my thoughts and ideas come from me, and not from someone "famous".

Cause you know what, he isn't any better or smarter than I am. In any way. And just like MM93 grew up to take down VR46 I'm gonna do the same to all those who are at the top right now. Everyone is gonna know it and see it. Then there will be no doubting.

What have I done for you lately? AKA Responding to a sponsorship question.

A few posts back I asked if anyone had a specific question about sponsorship in the shooting sports world, or at least my experiences with it. I got a comment asking "Funny, I was just thinking about this topic. I figure once we have all our gear, I think we only really need two things from our sponsor... help with entry fees & ammo. Would like to hear how your sponsors have helped you. Thanks."

For this shooter, it seems the first priority is gear. The physical equipment one would use in competition, based on his saying "once we have gear". These are pretty durable items and often a once a season expense. The reader then says he/she thinks their next greatest need is ammo and entry fees. If you shoot, practice or compete often then this is at least a weekly expense so let's run through some numbers.

Ammunition. I make my own 9mm for 13 cents a round using high end components. You can make it for 9 cents if you're thrifty. When I was receiving bullets for free I could make 9mm rounds for about 5-6 cents a piece. If you're buying ammo off the shelf you'll be happy to pay 20 cents a round and it won't nearly be the quality of what one can make for themselves. A match is about 150 rounds and you'll easily shoot 300 rounds a week in practice, so let's say you are not doing much and shoot 500 rounds a week for 2 thousand a month. (I often shoot one thousand a week and rarely less than 500). Make it yourself and pay $260 a month for ammo or buy it and pay at a minimum $400 if not $500 most likely. (Atlanta Arms, Automatic Accuracy, Freedom Munitions, LAX and so on)

Match Fees. I live in California so I'm sure they are higher but a local match here is $25 to enter. Shoot 4 a month and that's $100.

So your costs to be an active competitive shooter run about $350 to $600 a month for match fees and all your ammo. Month after month, year after year. This doesn't count travel, food, training, range fees, all the high costs of going to major matches out of state and so on. It is very easy to spend $20,000 in a year if you have to fly out of state once a month to shoot a match and do all of the local stuff as well.

Ok, so his/her real question was how have my sponsors helped me? Well first, every single one of them has made me sign a Non Disclosure Agreement stating I would not reveal the exact nature of our deal. But what I can do is talk to you about generalities and what I've seen and went through myself.

One, find a sponsor who will pay you cash if you can. That is extremely hard to do as the level of accountability is pretty high. They want a sure return on their investment. If you can find a way to do this, then do it! I do have cash payments each month but to earn them I have to do very specific things in regards to media, photos, reporting and so on. It can be done but it seems to be rare. Where I've seen people be surprisingly successful in this is finding a benefactor. Essentially a person who cares enough about you and/or the sport to help pay your match fees. These are often the friends you make at the range, in your squad or wherever you are frequently at and have an honest and true friendship with someone. The number one rule I've heard from people I've approached over and over again is no one cares if you're the best shooter in the state if you're a jerk.

Ammo. Many ammo or bullet companies have contingency programs. This is the best place to get help with ammo in my opinion. You have to look hard and do some good Google work but they are out there. I participated in one from The Blue Bullets that was an excellent program that even gave you credit for local match wins. If you're a local hot shot it was easy to get about $100 worth of free bullets a month. But you have to win! The next best thing I've found for people who want help with ammo is to befriend one of the shooters who has primary sponsorship from an ammo or bullet company. Buy some of the product at retail. Shoot it. Talk with their sponsored shooter about it and your experiences. Build this relationship, help sell their product, represent it in a good light. When you do these things I've been asked if I want to by product from them at a greatly reduced price, or given a special discount code, or given 500 rounds to sample.

Currently I get free brass and that is the extent of my ammo support. But that is by choice and I haven't approached anyone about this matter. I do have access to ammo at half price should I choose to, but I prefer to make my own as right now I am choosing to shoot a jacketed bullet over a coated one.

Not exactly the answer to your question, but yes I get some cash from some sponsors that pays match fees or a hotel or whatever. And as far as ammo I just get all the free brass I can handle. (Though I have had other offers I did not accept.

Personal relationships will go farther than anything else in the beginning. Who you know and how well you know them will open more doors than winning. Winning is awesome and that opens doors as well, for sure. But to start the people you're around and who know about you will be your best bet. Now if you want strategies on how to maximize these relationships that is a different post! hahahaha.

Does it really make a difference?

As I sat in traffic near Mission Valley mall yesterday I saw people begging at the intersections, like normal. With the mild weather I think SD is a popular place to be homeless or transient. In this case it was an obviously pregnant, disheveled woman doing the begging. Or should I say pleading?

In my mind my first thought was, I wonder if that is padding or is she in someway faking being pregnant to get more money? Closer visual inspection and she looked legit. And as I sat there averting my gaze after previously staring, the thought came strongly to my mind, "Can I see another's lack and I not care? Have you fed the hungry? Clothed the naked?", all of these New Testament style Christian thoughts.

Let me inerrupt this by saying I have ZERO white guilt, zero guilt about being a 3%er. I am nice to people in the service industry but I have no problem watching TV while the housekeeper cleans the house. I don't fly across an ocean unless it is in first class. You get the picture I hope. I'm hopefully not a bore to people I know in real life, but I'm also not afraid to use money to my advantage.

So I opened the change tray in my truck and in it was a $20 bill. I thought what the heck, I didn't even know I had a twenty in there and so why not. Let's give here some money like she is asking for. As other people are fond of saying, who am I to judge?

Roll down the window, whistle to get her attention and palm her the bill. She says a quiet thank you and walks back to doing her "work". I drive off and go eat some pizza. The end.

Nope. Later on in the afternoon I was lounging in a friends swimming pool and thought to myself about this whole occurrence. Giving money to beggars is rare for me. Like once every two years. I had a strong feeling inside to give her some money, so I listened to that feeling. Gotta trust those kinds of inputs into your life or things are just random and wild, driven by whims with no foundation.

But what did $20 really do for her? It didn't get a room for the night. Pre natal vitamins? I't didn't get her new clothes or shoes to make living outside or in her car more comfortable. It didn't cover a copay for a doctor visit. It didn't mean the difference between paying her mortgage or car payment? Did it? So what was it worth? Two or three meals? Food for a day? Some weed or beer? I don't know.....

I'm sure it helped with some sort of immediate need but I felt kinda sad that it did nothing for her long term. Which got me to thinking what does help people long term? And help from what? This lead to some heavy thinking and pondering. And no answers.....

Sponsorship

I get a lot of people asking me about sponsorship and shooting and how it worked for me and my experiences. If ANYONE is actually interested in this topic, leave a comment and I'll write up a thorough entry about it. Otherwise, I wont bore you.

Bueller? Bueller?

Worry

I wish I didn't worry so........ I have some things on my mind that I can't seem to shake off and let go of completely. First and foremost is getting the work done to tear down my private shooting range and get that land sold. I want that off my conscious sooo badly. All that property does now is cause me to feel anxious and worried. The exact opposite of its intended purpose. I am in the process of fixing all this, but I guess I won't feel really at peace about it until the range is completely torn down and the County no longer has an open case against me.

Secondly I think about the little things around the house I want fixed before selling it. Time and money and scheduling. Seems to be the core component to all of these things. Oh and maybe "ownership" as well. The shower and wall in the master bathroom need fixing and replacing of fixtures. The kitchen sink and fixtures need replacing. The AC unit outside needs looking at and disconnected from the PGE control program we're enrolled in. I'd like a security screen door for the front of the house. There is a soft spot on one of the balconies. The whole house needs pressure washed and cleaned.The passage door between the garage and the house needs a new lockset. And all the tore up screen doors from the cat need replacing. Man that seems like sooooo much.

Travel. Travel should be fun and magical, and it is, but you have to frontload a lot of the work. I've got Illinois already done, but still have to do Oklahoma, Spain, New Jersey and one other. And expedite my passport renewal as well.

Killer. Killer needs to get his final dental work done well. He needs to move to his new place and he needs to start college. I won't stop thinking about this until he gets the process going and successfully!

I guess this wouldn't be soo bad but for the facts that they all require 1. a metric tonne of cash to accomplish. 2. depending on someone else to actually perform the labor or actions. 3. will take months to accomplish.

Following my own dictum that "action is the best response to misfortune" only kind of works in this instance. These are really bad things that have happened to me so much as they are items that need attention or correction and if left alone will all have negative consequences. None of these things can be ignored. But let's work on them anyways!

Highest priority is getting the range done and sold. I'll sleep much better when this is done.
Next is getting my passport and travel arranged. Super D and I need to do this together soon. And budget for it.
Third should be prioritizing the house upgrades and then figuring who should do each section. I have a list, it's just picking times and people I guess to accomplish them and do it around possibly selling the house.
Fourth will be dealing with K. This one should require the least outside assistance and is also the simplest in my opinion.

Not sure if I feel better now that I've gotten this all out there, but I did. Next few steps are on me!

Como se dice 'vrrooom' en espanol?

While I was doing my study abroad in Spain I rented a motorcycle for a weekend and took some rides out into the countryside north of Madrid and into the Sierra de la Guadarrama mountains. Here are some snippets from the GoPro video I took while goofing off.

A lot of the country side reminded me of northern California and the Sierra Nevada mountains. All I know is it was a fun adventure to be riding around in the mountains in a new country. How can you beat that for a break from studying??

M Proust

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

I like this quote quite a bit but at the same time I don't like it because I want new landscapes. Not new eyes. I am choosing to read it as that I should not just view new landscapes with my old eyes but that new things should also be viewed with new eyes.

Change my scenery and change myself.

You know who else would ride a zipline upside down?

My mom! (Muscleman voice from Regular Show)

My mom would be proud of my upside down playground toy riding.


A joke I heard when I took a Skip Barber racing class went like this, "What's the difference between a rental car and a 4-wheel drive? A rental car can go anywhere." I kind of feel the same way about a rental a bicycle as well.

Sharks

What happens when a shark stops moving? It dies. To most who know me personally, you know I'm anxious to move away from not only San Diego but California. For a good handful of reasons.
-Income Taxes
-No Family Lives in CA
-Political Climate/Gun Laws/Land Use
-Desire for Change (And Hope! hahaha)
-Personal Growth that Comes with Change
-SD Makes You a Weather Wuss
-Increase in Personal Exposure/Opportunities in Shooting

Having been living in Spain for the past month has only solidified my desire to move as soon as is appropriate. Not that I am in love with Spain but it has been a bit of gasoline on my rambling fire living and studying here. As if I needed any more fuel......

What has Spain taught me though about all of these feelings and desires? Well that I am more of a country mouse than a city mouse. That I need trees, mountains, seasons. That I can live without the beach. I like the beach swell (pun intended) but not as much as I like mountains. Blame it on my up bringing. Also that I prefer to live on the edge of a city or in a middle size town. Living in a big city, Madrid has a population similar to San Diego at 3 million people, taking the metro and not driving, never seeing anything but concrete and steel, well that just doesn't give me the same inner happiness that even the suburbs do let alone actually living somewhere I can drive, have grass, a yard and such. White picket fence anyone?

I guess I'd prefer to live in a smaller town, more "rural" and go into town for travel or culture than I'd prefer to live in the city and escape to nature when needed. But that also made me ask myself, could I live in Spain? Though I have found the food frankly horrible for 80% of the time, I could. It wouldn't take much longer in study and full time residence that I'd be totally happy doing stuff all in Spanish. I've already adapted well to the timing and pacing of life here in Spain. Heck, I've been driving around and doing stuff without ever checking a map or metro table. And I can just dead reckon my way through town now as well. It used to be that I knew Rome, Baghdad or maybe London the best of foreign cities but now it is easily Madrid that I can operate in seamlessly. Which makes the prospect of coming back in October interesting.

Ramble ramble. I have some sleep to catch up on and a little bit of Spanish homework to do as well before my test at 1300 tomorrow. I'd be happy to get a C out of this class to be honest, but I'd prefer a B of course. An A is out of the question as I just haven't put in the time or found the structure that would have worked for me to accomplish that, all on me.

Want to know more? Email, text, FB, Instagram or whatever. I'm out there and approachable.

Spain blog photo dump

So it is a work in progress, but if you want a ton of photos without a lot of context you can get them here:
http://rowdyenmadrid.blogspot.com.es/ My Spain Blog

Different Blog

So I have to write a blog for my Spanish class while I am in Spain this summer. They would prefer I do it separate from this blog. So I will be posting a link here soon when I create the new one just for this summer's stuff. Find the idea of me writing in Spanish about my time in Spain horrible? Sweet, then you'll have a lot more free time.

Buttttt, if you wanna read that kind of stuff I think it will be something new and fun for all of us! Check back here soon!!

Fiber's a fiend not friend.

So with my history of intestinal stuff the lumen, inner diameter of my intestine, is narrower than most people's in all the places I've had surgery previously. I seem to have forgotten this fact when deciding to eat half a pineapple this morning. Needless to say the mechanical action of trying to force that much fibrous food through the tight spots in my gut has made me feel pretty yucky. I'm currently in bed trying to wait out the pain, nauseousness and bloating. #stupidchrohnsdisease

I hate "why" questions.

I generally have a strong dislike for most "why" based questions that aren't of a scientific nature. I much prefer phrasing all the questions I have in life with the other interrogative options. Who, how, what, when. Why just never seems to lead anywhere.

As you know, or don't, I have a strong desire to move not only from San Diego but from California entirely. 10 years has been enough! When I tell people who still love CA about this they often say, "Why would you ever want to leave this?!?", gesturing to the weather, sky and ocean.

Well one, I've lived a lot of other places and I'm not a weather wuss. Living in SD makes you weak in that regard. It lulls you with a false sense of ease and comfort. Like the couch when you should work out, or sweatpants worn outside of the house.

When interviewing for jobs in San Diego we always had salary discussion. In the bay area I was making $50 an hour as my base pay and routinely made 11 grand a month in overtime and call. So then to just move down the state a ways and be offered $28 per hour for the exact same job and be told by HR, "We pay you in susnshine.", well I should have known where that would lead. I did tell them right then, "Sunshine doesn't pay the rent!" (I also did not get that job)

Schools, infrastructure, politics, land use, recreation, nanny state mentality, dwindling resources. All reasons to leave and my familiarity has bred nothing but contempt. I've lived in other states and another country. Sorry to say it, but CA just ain't it anymore and hasn't been since about 1963....

BTW, almost everything in the picture below one would consider cool is either untrue, no longer exists or is illegal. Just one big falsehood meant to lull the dim into complacency.

To Do before Spain

-Smog my truck and renew its registration.
-Rotate tires and wash truck.
-Make all ammo for Nationals and mail to PASA.
-Buy book for class.
-Make packing list.
-Research more clearly my weekend options.
-Shoot as many matches as possible.
-Hang out and help Super D while I can.

Not a chance!

If I dyed my hair black, had surgery to alter my eye lids, took medication to alter my skin pigment and changed my name to Li I would not then be Asian. I could tell people all day I was Asian, that I'd always felt Asian and that I'd been born to the wrong race. Ad I'd be 100% wrong.

I'd be called a cheat and a fraud for checking "Asian" on any form, application or paperwork. Any genetic testing on me would come back Caucasian. And most importantly every other Asian in the world would scoff and scorn my exclamations that through my own choice and superficial actions I was now Asian.

To expect, let alone demand, inclusion or understanding from all the other Asians would be ridiculous on my part. The things that make us who we literally are all intrinsic. And unchangeable. To do otherwise is an affront to your very being and existence. An existential slap in the universe's face.

Questions, always questions. Isn't action always part of the answer?

Various questions rolling around in my brain cave the past few days.....

-Serve some revenge now that the dish is cold, or just let the sleeping dogs lie?

-Renew my CA state nuclear medicine license or let it go fallow?

-Is and act still considered courageous even if it is wrong?

-Sell my FZ09 and get a KTM RC390?

-Wear my GoPro facing to the front or the rear when I run with the bulls at Pamplona this summer?

-Which is better, Wallace and Grommit or Shaun the Sheep?

-Should I care about seeing the number go upwards on the scale as long as my waist stays the same?

-Buy a Spanish talk and trash(pay as you go) phone or just get a month of international data while in Spain on my current phone?

-I've let my interest in photography and photoshop slip, what is the best way to revive these interests?

-Should I get a second cat, one more cuddley?

I lost

I fought the County and the County won. Just got a 8 page packet from them detailing a year long plan to remediate the site back to natural. $60,000 wasted......

Todas las cosas

Every freaking thing is breaking, falling apart at the house. I'm almost ready to burn it all down and start over.

Quick Map

The first draft of places for relocation reads like this:

San Antonio Texas

Boise Idaho

Little Rock Arkansas

Raleigh North Carolina

Ashville North Carolina

Austin Texas

The basic considerations are:

Low state income tax

Seasons, trees, topography

Proximity to an airport for national and international flights

Conservative political climate and or presence of a university

Favorable gun laws and competition opportunities

Proximity to family

Access to healthcare as an employee and patient

Here there be dragons....

In a recent film I watched one of the characters asks, "What is your earliest memory?"

Reviewing my own memories I'm saddened and surprised to remember a nightmare as my earliest memory from about the age of 3 years old. Of being awake at night and crying out for my parents, frightened of the scary dragon I'd dreamed of perched on the end of my bed. Him telling me he was going to get me and my parents couldn't save me. Wouldn't save me.

I still have the same style of nightmare............... while it may be my earliest memory I hope it won't be my last.

la valise ou le cercueil.....

La valise out le cercueil, is French for "the suitcase or the coffin." Pared to it's essential meaning to me it says if you leave you live. If you stay you die.

Buddah had to go on a journey, leave his palace and hometown to find his enlightenment. Mohamed had to leave the area of his birth to win Mecca and Medina. Moses was a prince in Egypt but that wasn't the place to be for him. He died on the way to his promised land but never stopped moving. Jesus was scorned in his own town, no one could believe the son of a carpenter was really their Messiah. He had to find followers elsewhere, and send his apostles all over. All of these example lend credence to the saying no prophet is accepted in his own land.

I'm not a prophet. But I am on a journey of personal perfection. Enlightenment. The aforementioned examples are all relgious in nature, but the individuals effected billions of people. I think they give a model to follow. Growth doesn't happen without change.

I want to change my physical location. I'm not running away but I am looking for the right change of residence that will lead to my best growth. I feel if I stay where I am at, c'est le cercueil. So I need to pack my valise and figure out where I should go, as I know it is no longer here in San Diego.

OZ versus USA

I made a new Australian friend today. As we were talking about a certain circumstance I said, "arguing with a fool is like wrestling with a pig. you both get muddy and the pig likes it."

He said he'd never heard that before but the Aussie version is "I's like playing chess with a pigeon. He'll knock all the pieces over, crap on the board and still strut around like he's won."

I'm going to start using the Aussie version. Any colloquialisms you'd like to share??

Easter

I've been there. I've felt it here. I know it is true.

Feeling hot, hot, hot!

We've had some very unusual San Diego weather the past few weeks with 90F days! More than one! I've also been supervising a lot out at The Ranch and my normal time outside shooting and such. Needless to say I've spend a lot of the previous week hot, dirty and sun burned.

It's during times like this my mind drifts off to where I stayed in Patagonia............So cool, crisp and clean.

Project R

So in my quest to be one of the best pistol shooters in the US I took a hard look at what that would take to accomplish. From that I decided that the essential components of success are:
-Time free to devote to practice and competition.
-A sufficient supply of ammunition and materials.
-Support from family and friends.
-The desire to not settle for anything less than the best.
-Natural talent.
-The mystery ingredient of Project R.

Project R is what I was lacking in my quest. I have ALL of the other things in sufficient supply, if not more than enough. But what I was really missing is something difficult to get here in Southern California. If you're not familiar witht the set up, let me explain it to you.

Shooting on public land is highly regulated and not open year round and you are limited to a few spots on a first come, first serve basis. You can join an outdoor gun range but you are limited in how quickly you can shoot and all from behind a firing line or static shooting position. Good for general accuracy but not for my sport. Again with limited hours. Then of course there are indoor shooting ranges. I happen to belong to a good one that lets me draw from a holster and shoot as rapidly as I wish.

But none of this lets me replicate what I do in my matches. When I look at tennis players they practice on a tennis court. Basketball players practice in a gym on a court. Football players work out on a field. So if I want to be a shooter, I need to practice on a shooting range where I can do my kind of things.

In other parts of the USA when you belong to a gun club you can check out a bay as a member and do what you want. There is a range 2 hours north of me that does this as well to the paying public. But here in San Diego? Nothing. So I decided to make my own.

Yep, I'm building my own private training facility for pistol shooting and it is going to be top notch. It should be totally done in about 4 weeks. The piece of land I bought also will be fun to ride motorcycles on, shoot rabbits, rock climb, camp and so on.

The CIA has The Farm. I have The Ranch, aka Project R.

Virginia 1760

If I lived in Virginia in 1760 I'd now be able to vote. I'm an adult male, white, Christian and last but not least I now own property. Yep!!! I now own 43 acres out in the Jacumba area. Rocks for climbing, caves to explore, rabbits to shoot, motorcycle trails to build. All sorts of outdoor "fun" and such.

A lot of money, a lot of work but hopefully it will also be a lot of fun.

But can I??

I played the violin in 5th grade to appease my parents and try to get with Emily Butterball. Neither worked. Like all kids at the time I played the recorder as well in 4th grade music class.

In college I bought a "Teach Yourself to Play the Piano" book. Got to the 4th chapter and was done, having only learned a little with my right hand only.

I've since owned and sold and electric and acoustic guitar. Never learned more than a handful of chords. I still have a djimbe drum around somewhere as well...

As you can see, learning a musical instrument is about like learning Russian for me. Lots of attempts but no real developments.

But you know what I'd really really like to know how to play? The xylophone or marimba!!! Yep, mallets striking bars. Oh, I'd love that. I even have a to Fischer-Price one with the notes written on the "keys".

Do you think anyone in SD does adult xylophone lessons??

Something....

So here are some of the mock ups I was asked to do about a potential print ad campaign. Featuring moi. In like national gun magazines! We'll see if it happens, but the initial interest was there....

Boy on film.

Someone digitally recorded me doing something. And put it on the internet! 'Cause you can't really say filmed or developed anymore.

Long Words.

I don't really like the interface and game play in Words With Friends. What I realllly do like to play is the game Wordfeud!! So in the realllly small chance you read this blog and also play Wordfeud, please send me a game request! My username is Rowdstar.

Reputation Defender? Or a scene from Momento?

Went to lunch today at a sandwich place I haven't been in almost a year. I like their food; it is original, flavored well, filling but kinda expensive.

The last time I went there I was a little sick with Crohns. I had also just had a MRI and was starting to have a reaction to the contrast. Or was it the MRI to check my brain out? Funnily enough, I can't remember.

What I do remember was puking twice while leaving the establishment. Once right at the front door and once at my truck. So you can see why I stayed away, even though it was clearly my fault and not theirs for the up-chuck. It's not you, it's me.

Killer and I are eating our lunch when the owner stops abruptly and says to me, "Hey I know you, right? You look super familiar to me." As odd and atypical (finally huh Super D!) as I look I'm always surprised when this happens. I am not a memorable, movie star like tall dark and handsome. I replied with, "Well where do you think you know me from?" As he sat puzzling it out I prompted that I had been to his place to eat a few times before.

He then called me by my first name, probably got it off my debit card, and asked if I'd been to their old farmers market location. I lied and said I had. He smiled and seemed to accept that and then went on about his day. I didn't want him to remember me as "Oh yeah, you're the guy who puked all over last time you here!"

POSTSCRIPT
I do remember an earlier interaction with the owner as well. I think I'd mentioned online, while I was sitting in their place, how I was unhappy they had something prominently advertised but then said it wasn't available for my second visit in a row. He must be good at monitoring his online presence as it was pretty easy to figure out who at the only occupied table probably just posted. We had a good discussion and he reasonably explained what was going on. It was a model example of how that type of scenario that could of been fraught was handled deftly and everyone was happy at the end.

UNLIKE that stupid bodywork repair place and my Porsche that I'll never go back to or recommend to anyone with a nice car!

adventure??

The words "epic" and "adventure" get thrown around a lot in the outdoor sports world. Hell, they call themselves "Xtreme" sports so it should be no surprise. A definition for adventure that I like is, "It's not an adventure unless something goes wrong." This is a quote from a modern polar explorer as he was contrasting early exploration to how things are done today.

Evidently my mountain bike ride yesterday was quite the adventure!
-My gloves fell out to the ground and into the storm drain in front of my house while loading my stuff into a friend's truck. I would rather ride shirtless and helmetless than ride without gloves. The first sign of a coming adventure.

-I'd just thrown my hydration pack down on as I loaded stuff up. Onto its drinking valve. On a 80F day, for a 2pm ride, with no shade. When we got to the ride spot I had 10% of my water remaining, the rest having leaked out. Good thing it wasn't hot or anything.

-The infamous JRA. I was just riding along when a bee hit me in the forehead/temple area and got stuck between my scalp and the helmet strap. I tried flicking him out and then taking off my helmet, while still riding of course. STING! I got stung right on my temple just minutes into a 90 minute ride. What an annoying place to get stung by a bee, on the face!

My riding partner is making a return to mountain biking after a loooong hiatus. So we only did about 60% of the ride I intended. It was also my very first ride on this particular bike as well so I should be happy with having only done a short shakedown ride. Looking at the list above though I still don't think I can qualify it as an adventure.

Which is sad, as I like adventure. Maybe I can break my wrist in Noble Canyon again??

Goosebumps

No, not the super popular kid's books from way back but rather letting you in on a secret about me.

When I sing, like try to actually sing, my arms get covered in goosebumps. Which is funny because I am absolutely wretched at singing.

Price

What price is your dream? Mine is about 50 grand. To have a dream come true, that seems pretty cheap.

Slim Pickens pickings

There is a scene in the classic movie Dr Strangelove where the pilot, Slim Pickens, reads off the list of their survival contents and adds a funny quip at the end. Should I list off the contents of what my survival pack this morning includes it would read like this:

1 hot shower
1 pill probiotics
1 pill sub lingual b-12
1 pill Tamiflu
2 pills Tylenol Severe Flu
1 quart drinking water (not rain water J. Ripper)
1 glass orange juice
250 rounds 9mm ammunition (I'm going to try and shoot a match with the flu)

Kurosawa

This year is what I like to call my "Secret Samurai" year, in honor of the Japanese film director Kurosawa. Basically only traveling to like two or three matches this year instead of the 13 or so I did last year. But instead staying local and focusing on 'sharpening my sword', to then next year burst forth out of hiding.

To have made Master and start shooting well and have people be shocked about this guy who just came out of nowhere and is sooo good.
Kinda makes me wanna change my personal logo from a shark to a samurai......

Modeling....

I love outside industry sponsorship. Three things about it I like are that 1. my continued sponsorship with them is more contingent on being a nice guy/good representative than on being first place every time. 2. they are normally excited to include me in their promotional material. I have two modeling gigs coming up where I am going to be photoed and videoed for the various company's websites and such. 3. it allows me more freedom in the equipment I choose.

All of these things increase my level of enjoyment in competing and in just being nice, friendly and talking with people about the products I help represent.

Range Master Rowdy

Ok, so plans seem to be moving forward on building my own practice facility/fun compound. Instead of moving overseas for two years.

Land will be about 40 grand. A shed and storage will be about 1 grand. Targets and shooting supplies about 9 grand. Then a fence, Bobcat rental to build berms and other stuff I've forgotten are unknown costs to me. Two grand? Five?

So let's say it is 55 grand to do it. Last year I spent 20 grand just on travel and match fees. I think my skill level would improve at a rate two times it did last year, so the ROI on this seems to be right. But I'm biased.

The right plot will also have the terrain to make a small motorcycle track around it as well. Oh yeah.

Add me

Add me to your "People to be killed list", I'll do the same for you.