OZ versus USA

I made a new Australian friend today. As we were talking about a certain circumstance I said, "arguing with a fool is like wrestling with a pig. you both get muddy and the pig likes it."

He said he'd never heard that before but the Aussie version is "I's like playing chess with a pigeon. He'll knock all the pieces over, crap on the board and still strut around like he's won."

I'm going to start using the Aussie version. Any colloquialisms you'd like to share??