Tang, Velcro, dehydrated food and me, Rowdy.

What do those four things have in common? Well they all wanted to be astronauts when they were little. Tang, Velcro and dehydrated food made it into space and I didn't.

Still when I was a little boy I either wanted to be an ichthyologist due to my fascination with sharks and ancient sea creatures or an astronaut.

I did come close once and here are the two stories behind my chance.

Version #1. The Ralphie and icicle version of Spaceman Rowdy.

I was wandering around a house I was interested in buying and it was full of interesting items, a pogo stick, 30 gallons of whiskey, cowboy hats and in one bedroom closet a large clear bowl.

It was on the top shelf of the closet and as I was just standing there looking at it when it just fell off the shelf! CRASH. Striking me in the head and breaking! Glass cutting my ear and face.

Wow, the owner should really be more careful about how they leave stuff lying around. I could have lost an eye...

Version #2. The Spaceman Rowdy truth is out there.
I was wandering around a house I was interested in buying and it was full of interesting items, a pogo stick, 30 gallons of whiskey, cowboy hats and in one bedroom closet a large clear bowl.

It was on the top shelf of the close and I was just standing there looking at it when I reached my hands up, on my tippy toes and took it off the shelf.

Immediately I thought, this is just like a 60s astronaut helmet!


So I tried to put it over my head. Thinking to myself, "Won't this be funny when I come down stairs and my real estate agent sees me with this glass bowl over my head like an astronaut? Now is my chance to live my childhood dream!"

Hmmmmm, doesn't quite fit. Maybe I should push this glass bowl down on my head a little farther. Oh, but what if it 'pops' on and I can't get it off? I'll solve that later, push harder!

Ccccrrrreak, CRASH. Striking me in the head and breaking! Glass cutting my ear and head.

So much for getting to be an astronaut.... I couldn't even get "my" helmet on...

(Version 1 is what my real estate agent knew for over a year. Version 2 was finally revealed as the truth eventually to her. I think at her wedding reception. haha)