sippy cup

I finally realized how to articulate what I am feeling currently, health wise.

I am an infant basically. I feel as if I am learning to walk again, I can barely make it up and down my stairs at home. My bowels are far from working normally and controlled. I am eating soft food. I can't sleep through the night at all. I need others to care for me.

Basically I am a baby. But I can talk.

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As an aside Super D and I were talking about my memory. Or lack there of. I am not Alzheimer-y but I really am unable to remember much at all of September and October. And my ability to remember something just told to me one to two hours later seems almost non existent.

Honestly, I think it is totally the "use it or loose it" effect. There is nothing I do during the day for the past couple years of my life that requires much of my brain power. I should take like a community college math class or something just to work the mind muscle. 'Cause I hate Sudoku and crosswords.

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Being sick and healing again has given me a new kind of "come to Jesus" moment. I think I will write most of that stuff in my physical pen and paper journal rather than here. But just know it is happening.

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I have 26 staples in two different incisions right now. They come out on Monday tentatively. My surgeon did follow my request to kind of clean up my stomach a bit. My belly button is back to center and not twisted now. Most of the old scarring was cleaned up and removed. Some odd pouching of fat was also corrected.

So I think I will be able to go shirtless again. Eventually. Right now I am pretty swollen and bruised up though. Not a pretty picture hahaha. So guess what? I'm gonna take one and put it up here! HA!

I try to think back to my recovery from other surgeries and I don't think I can make any comparisons. This time I had to deal with 3 of them in as many months, as old as I've ever been, complications and maybe a little weaker mentally. Right this very second I feel the best I have and I am super thankful for it!

I can see why my Dr wanted me to stay a day or so longer in the hospital. But I just could not have taken it. I did jokingly threaten them I would just leave and walk home, known as going "AMA" in the biz. I'd rather suffer at home, then get better at home to. No duh, but home is just always 1,000,000 times better than the hospital.

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I opened xmas presents early today. Hey, I deserved it. And I hope you have a great time as well too!
AMC gift cards (True Grit tomorrow!!)
Check for $
Amazon gift card
Arte Suave and 2010 Mundials dvds
two very attractive sweaters, argyle
a custom Shoyoroll gi that will be here in like 3 months