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I meet people who have lived in one town their whole life, as did much of their family. They grew up knowing their cousins and extended family. The went through school with mostly the same people year after year. They have been friends for over 10, 20 years. That just astounds me.

They have friends with history. Friends through time and trials. I don't have that. When I say "remember when" to a friend, it can only go back a year to two at most. I have zero friend continuity. I've spent more time living away from my parents than with them. Truly in my life the only person who has seen a majority of my life is me. I'm the only one who's been there for more than half of it.

I am the oldest of my siblings and third amongst cousins. That there puts me ahead of them. I only did half a year kindergarten. Then we moved to a different state. Two years in Montana with only two friends there whose first names I remember and nothing else. They could live one house from me and I wouldn't know it was them. Then off to Washington state. The first town saw me in two different elementary schools and then a middle school for one year. I can think of two people I'd like to meet from that time, but can't even remember how to spell their names correctly. "I'll write you", the notes soo often said at leaving. They must have been lost along the way.

Guess what? Time to move again. Into a new town and now junior high. Time to move houses in this town and now into high school. 5 years of being able to hang out with the same people. But we were the wrong people to hang out with eventually. As time wore on we did nothing to help each other grow as adults. Or be real friends. I left in cowardice the year after graduating from high school.

Then back to Oregon. Work and college. It was a small town. I was a townie or local in comparison to most students there. Family, immediate and other had already started to spread. My college friends graduated a year before I did and moved away. I moved to Arizona, knowing not a soul. Two years there then I move to California. Spending 6 months at a time, moving through the whole state job to job. Girl to girl.

I've been told my definition of friend isn't a good one. I think it is due to my experience though. I don't base the strength of my friendship of its length of time. Just as they say love is a verb, and action word, so is friendship. To me. If you want to be friends we have to DO THINGS together.

And that must be why I can make friends in new places. Because I can always find people to do stuff with. But as I haven't been doing much, it feels like my friends and I are shifting. A change.

I can;t wait to be Rowdy again.