A Rowdy Resume

Rowdy*
123 Awesome Ave
Sun Diego, Kali
1-800-AWINNER

Skills
-To detect and exceed the limits of tire adhesion in both main vehicle types, automobiles and motorcycles. I also specialize in the non-motorized class of mountain bikes.

-Drinking a 2 quart pitcher of Kool-Aide in one try. I can also augment this with a greater than human ability to consume other forms of refined sugar in both liquid and solid state i.e.: licorice, Hot Tamales, marshmallows, sour Gummy anything, Rice Krispy Treats, angel food cake.

-Experience in hiking, camping, wilderness survival, fire starting, hunting, map reading, compass and GPS usage, water purification.

-An extensive knowledge of rap music from 1984 to 1990. This is allied with ownership of the soundtrack for Beat Street in album form and viewings of Breakin' and Breakin' Two Electric Boogaloo in theaters.

-Three years study of chokes, joint submissions and throws as related to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and its practical application in competition and less official settings.

-Practical shooting skills with all major firearm types rifle, shotgun and pistol.

-Amateur Donald Duck impersonator.

-I make the best beef jerky and smoked salmon that anyone has ever tasted. Ever.

-An introductory knowledge of scuba, surfing, sky diving, auto maintenance, snow boarding, rock climbing, tennis, snorkeling and Gran Turismo.

Qualifications

-Greater than 10 speeding tickets since my original drivers license.

-Participation and medaling in SCCA Solo 2 autocross in Oregon, California and Arizona. Completion of Skip Barber Racing School at Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca. Completion of Porsche Club of America San Diego Region Performance Driving School.

-Eagle Scout

-Medalist Pan American Jiu Jitsu Championship 2009, 2010. Medalist Abu Dhabi Pro West Coast Qualifier 2009.

-EMT-B certification. Licensed Nuclear Medicine Technologist.

-Participation in multiple motorcycle track days.

-Formal education in French, Spanish, and Russian. Conversant in neither. Introductory knowledge of Italian, Japanese and Arabic.

-Working as a civilian in a war zone, 2007.

-Multiple series Super-D top 3 overall position holder 2009.

-Possession of valid US passport, but only 12 available entry and exit spots open.

*Only one name. Like Conan, Dracula, He-Man.



So what do you think? What am I really suited for?
Looking at my resume I don't think there is any sort of traditional job I am suited for. It is interesting to think of how people have described me over time, or what traits they would have ascribed to me.

I went through phases of being the tough kid, the sick kid, the striver, the dreamer, the partier, the lost one, the studious one, the fun guy, the dare devil, the player to now the master of fun-employment. Looking at my current "rowdy" resume I really do question what I can do for a 'real' job.... Making me nostalgic for other times in my career. (only kinda)

Nostalgia: A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.

As you can't really be nostalgic for the time you live in, I'm going to select the late 90's with the end of college and the early 2000's with all my moves and experiencing soo many different parts of Arizona and California.

And while a majority of what I do is focused on physical pursuits I do not have to succumb to a weightless, substance-less existence. Don't worry, this Rowdy is not going to devolve during this time.

I am substance. Or am I just trying to convince myself?