Obituary

So I've been seeing in the news people who've died in an accident being described and an aspiring something or other. Jane Doe was an aspiring marine biologist. John Doe was an aspiring actor.

Well if I were to die by accident in the near future I'd like the news to say, "Rowdy B-----, an aspiring astronaut, big game hunter, photographer, Nobel Prize laureate, Olympic silver medalist, Rhode scholar, novelist and professional shooter died today when he choked to death when he aspirated a white cherry Slurpee at an Allied Gardens 7-11." It's silly, almost everyone is aspirational for some great thing. But if you haven't achieved it you shouldn't really be recognized just for your desires.

If I die before my parents bury me near my grandparents. Play the Battle Hymn of the Republic at my funeral. And split my $300,000 life insurance policy equally between J, K and M.