If it don't make dollars then it don't make sense.

Like most things in my personality I am a dichotomy. I hold within me equally to opposite sides of something. Whatever. In this case I'm gonna talk about money.

Ever since my last, and hopefully final, divorce I've been great with my money and never had a problem. I worked hard, improved how much I made with each job change. I got rid of all my credit cards. I made budgets and stuck to them. I took care of my needs before my wants.

Sounds great, right? Well at the same time I am a spender more than a saver. If I see something I want I normally do what it takes to buy it. Work overtime, sell something, eat less or whatever. I don't get attached to "things" but I do want "things" often. My garage is basically a revolving door of sporting goods, motorcycles, bikes and so on throughout the years.

I've always been this way. Ask my mom. Recently I sold a motorcycle and am back down to just one. Crisis, I know. Which also means I have the money from said sale, burning burning burning a cinder tinged hole in my pocket.

I went and looked at 3 motorcycles today. Two guns. Clothes. Sunglasses, of which I actually do need a new pair having lost my nice Oakleys on vacation last month. I even brought the thousands of dollars with me in cash to these window shopping events. Had I chosen I could have bought whatever I wanted today.

But I'm conflicted. Argh! Which means I should probably just put in in a safe place and wait. I talked myself out of each motorcycle I looked at. And cancelled the appointments to see others I'd made. If I were to get a new, custom, expensive gun I'd rather sell one of my rifles to help fund it's purchase and have to dip into my ready cash less so.

Heck, I even ran into a guy I knew from jiu jitsu years ago who almost had me convinced to go back to training. Tonight.

My shooting career/hobby is not cheap. I do need to devote some of this money into that. And possibly some more training and travel that's not already covered by my other arrangements. 'Cause that's my number one goal right now. Do I wanna add other distractions and shrink the amount of gold in my war chest?

I do, I do, I do! hahahahaha. But so far I am controlling it. But we'll see how long that lasts.