Psycho

Mental. So much of life is what goes on between your ears. What happens in your mind can make or break you. The classic idea that your thoughts lead to actions gives physical weight to something entirely unseen.

Why the rumination? Last week someone said to me, "You're obsessive." The context being that when I find something I really like or am interested in, I don't toe dip, I dive in head first.

My best friend through college tried to analyze my personality and reactions to life solely through the prism of my health experiences having Crohns disease.

Two different sports psychologists have told me I have a fear of success and an inability to maintain focus.

What does it all mean? I have no idea. I'm very very self-aware, but extremely un-introspective. I could care less "why" I do things, only dealing with the fact I did. I know exactly what I do, everything is planned in exquisite detail. I just have no reason why.

I guess, and it truly is a wild guess, the reason I am even writing this is I'm nervous I won't get accepted into any of the graduate schools I applied for and am starting to get tinges of "what's next? what's your plan? what's your contingency?" as I wait on word of acceptance to an increasingly small number of potential schools.

And now off to sing the Scarecrow's song from Wizard of Oz.