A Long Goodbye -or- No More Jiu Jitsu (with updates!)

I've done brazilian jiu jitsu for almost 1/4 of my life! When I was soo sick and beat down with all my medical problems only three things kept me moving forward and one of them was jiu jitsu. Or the desire to participate in it again. I probably trained 15 hours a week for 6 years. That's just over 4,000 hours. Malcom Gladwell says you need 10,000 hours in something to be expert at it. I was halfway there.

Clothes, friends, travel, work outs, schedules, tournaments, injuries and everything was wound up in jiu jitsu. I thought it was my job. It was the primary way in which I defined myself. To myself and to others.

But I'm done. For more than a few reasons. I know I have blog readers who are heavy into it still. Heck, half the contacts in my phone are jiu jitsu related. But I'm simply done and I guess it is easiest to just list most of the reasons why.

-My body is not as strong and resilient as it used to be, jiu jitsu was tearing me down rather than keeping me tough. I can still stay fit and strong and look good by doing other things.

-I am past my athletic peak for the sport. To be uncompetitive and just a hobbyist, was just not how I wanted to continue. It is very hard to be in it casually and train at Atos.

-A subset of above is that at even at the biggest tournaments my class would only have 5 people. For my competitive side I get no joy out of being 3rd of 5. I prefer the competitive spirit of what I am in now where I can be against 20+ people.

-Injuries. Illness. Man, 3 months of ringworm sucked. Broken fingers and toes. Dislocated rib from sternum. Broken arm. Two broken teeth. Broken nose. Black eyes. Tendonitis.

-$175 a month to train. I'd rather spend that on my new sport. (once my contract is done)

-Desire. I just don't mentally or physically have the desire to go to the academy anymore. Let alone for 4 hours a day 3 or 4 days a week.

-And finally I no longer want it, jiu jitsu, to totally define me. And I can really only be all or nothing with it as time and experience has shown. I want to be thought of and defined by different things. I want what my loved ones think of me, what my friends think of me and others I might help think of me to matter more than what I thought of myself seen only through the prism of jiu jitsu. I want to be known and loved for other things. Other personality traits. Other joys.

My gi's are all sold off on ebay. For a profit as they were all Shoyoroll. The tv and mats I had in the garage are gone. I'm in the process of riding my closet of over 28 jiu jitsu t-shirts. (really) All of my medals will go in a drawer, to be curiously looked at by grandkids in 25 years.

On the flip side, what do I like about my new hobby/competitive outlet?
-Matches locally are on Saturday. I don't do this sort of thing on Sunday, so this is huge for me.

-I compete against a larger group of people, which leads to greater satisfaction when I do well. There is a concrete way to measure yourself against others and I get scores within 24 hours. I've already made a spread sheet for me to track metrics of each match.

-I seem to be naturally good at it. But beginner good, as there is a considerable gulf between my abilities and where I plan on being in a year.

-I can do a lot of practice at home. Both mental and physical preparation.

-I'm outside.

-It's still "martial", in the classical sense.

-I could shoot at Pala, Alpine(Lemon Grove Gun Club), Oceanside and Corona if I really wanted to drive that much.

The negatives are it is expensive as I spend $99 on ammo a month and $80 a month on match fees if I go to 4 matches a month. Max spending could be $180 a month. Is that high?