Jeweled Malicious Barbie made me homemade fortune cookies with special hand written fortunes in them for my birthday. So sweet! And a Coke float from Burger Lounge. Oh man, delicious. No picture of my burger 'cause I devoured it!

It's my baseball puppet!! hahaha, His dad is so proud.

The Porsche needed jump starting twice in one day. And now the battery is totally dead. After getting keyed, $1,500 in tires and now this it is kinda getting tiresome to own this car.

just the cutest

got to see my neice and nephew from my youngest sister this weekend. my nephew is 3 years old and while we were eating ice cream he kept chanting "i like it, i love it, i want more of it", clapping and then doing that again.

and then finally he asked his dad to play baseball. his dad is a huge baseball fan so he was stoked his kid actually wanted to do it. after hitting off the tee a few times his dad asked him if he wanted to catch the ball a few times and handed him his little mit. my nephew then squeeled with delight and said, "Ohhhhhh, it's my baseball puppet!"

we seriously all died laughing. such cute little kids and i love them.

little red riding Rowdy

From Los Gatos trail with perfect curves and all the log rides you can handle to the beautiful Big Laguna Trail Meadow to the speed, trees and rocks galore that is Nobel Canyon. A good ride even with seeing two rattlesnakes. (that i wish i would have killed)

groove to this.

oh my...... such a perfect beat.


and this one ignore the video, but listen to the absolute JAM!!
I really would love to hear this played live. Goodness. How could you sit still? Even dead people would rock to this.

many are called, few are chosen mumbo jumbo

I go to church. Don't shocked. Especially those who knew me in the 90's.

So the church I go to asks people to do stuff regularly. It is all volunteer, no one gets paid. Not teachers or leaders or anything. Basically everyone is given a job to do.

As I've had my nast health issue for almost the past year now I haven't had to do anything. In our vernacular it is called a "calling". But face it, it is a weekly Sunday job.

Well I finally got asked to do something.

Wait for it.





Wait for it.




Keep guessing.





Nope, you're wrong.




Yeah, I got asked to make the weekly program for the meeting. Like who is talking, the songs and such. They basically told me to put my rowdy stamp on it. Make it my own.

So I guess they want pictures of motorcycles and lots of spelling mistakes. HA!

Actually I am quite happy for this job as I think it has got to be one of the easier ones. And I really don't have to deal with other church people as they can just email me what I want. Conversely, I'm sure they are happy about just being able to email me rather than deal with me face to face too.

I feel like it has been my whole life but I first started dealing with Crohns disease in 6th or 7th grade. I can't even remember which one. I was sick frequently and had to go to multiple hospitals before being correctly diagnosed.

My first major surgery was at age 15. With 6 more to follow to today.

I was just reading another person's blog and it ended up being a post about how having a chronic illness from childhood effects your relationships. Normally for the bad.

I would like to think I am pretty self aware but have had maybe only 3 actual, deep conversations about how my attitude and life choices may have been shaped by Crohns. I guess I'm actually not that introspective after all.

Now I'm just rambling, but I feel like I've got some sort of "bug" in my mind now and under my skin about this whole thing. As my neice B-rad would say, "That's irritating!"

All I know is that stress totally messes me up. Not physical stress so much, like heavy exercise. But emotional stress and turmoil sends my body and health into a downward spiral that normally puts me in the hospital.

my past few days in pictures, good, bad and ugly.

vacay

I am not going to Brazil for Masters and Seniors. I'm just not going to if I'm not 100%. Masters and Seniors will always be there.

Airfare is around $1,600. Visa is $150. Tournament fees are $100. Food, lodging and entertainment for the week would have been $1,000 as well. (hey, no way am i staying cheap and eating rice all week) So this totals roughly $3,000.

Instead now I am thinking about doing a mega mountain bike trip. Possibly even buying a new bike for it as well. New downhill bike (if i can still get my discount), gasoline (as i'd be driving my truck), hotels, food, lift tickets and a couple of lessons would be just over $4,000 for about 9 days. I would go from San Diego to Colorado and ride at Solvista bike park, Trestle bike park and getting lessons at both places. Then I would go to Utah and ride at Brian Head. Then I would go to Bootleg Canyon in Nevada and finally back home.

What do you think?

I of course could save big money by just using the bike I have and renting. But I kind of want to go "big". A new Trek Session 8 or a coil shock Scratch if I can still get a deal on them. And of course a Go-Pro cause if there is no video it didn't happen. And maybe a few new bicycling clothing items. A little math shows it would be just $550 in gasoline.

Roughly I'm thinking this:

Day 1. Drive to Cedar City Utah.
Day 2. Ride at Brian Head.
Day 3. Drive to Arveda Colorado and visit my brother.
Day 3. Ride at Solvista getting a whole day lesson.
Day 4. Ride Solvista.
Day 5. Ride Trestle bike park with a possible half day lesson.
Day 6. Drive to Salt Lake City Utah and visit family.
Day 7. Ride Park City/Deer Valley.
Day 8. Drive to Las Vegas Nevada.
Day 9. Ride Boulder City.
Day 10. Drive to San Diego.

I could cut it down to 8 days easily by skipping SLC and possibly Boulder City and just do those another time. But if you're gonna go big...... A huge bearing on this depends on if I can get a downhill bike for a good price.

I need to do some real thinking, planning, praying and what not about life. I just feel like I don't have a "future" right now.

Mid-life crisis? I don't know.

Thinking in the traditional sense I guess I am talking about something "to do". Providing economically, using my education.

Working at the bike shop was fine and all, but it was frankly less than I'm capable of. And after my extended time off for my health issues they no longer had a position for me.

Simply I would like to work in Nuclear Medicine again but that is never going happen as long as I live in San Diego. Owning a home and Super D's job make relocation a tough thing to do, just for me. I find it hard to justify that kind of change.

Thus a need to plan. To figure something else out.

The life I lead is great and many people envy it. But it has no 'future'.

Am I being selfish? Am I whinning about nothing? Should I work harder on accepting things?

No matter what though I should make some sort of 5 year type plan for the future...

women, children, cripples and old people. that's who i wanna fight. that's why i train.






JOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Happy!

After all the different ideas and such my birthday I ended up going to Universal Studios park with Super D and Killer. It was a great time! As soon as we got there I knew I would have fun!

Killer had some important stuff back in SD at 5pm so we really hustled to do all I wanted, but we got it done.

Studio tour where I saw lots of cool movies stuff like the Psycho house, water where Creature from the Black Lagoon was filmed, movie cars and the awesome thing where Jaws comes out of the water at you. Also the King Kong 3D ride, Simpsons ride, House of Horrors, Jurrasic Park ride, the Mummy ride, getting my picture taken with Jaws, drinking a squishee like Bart and so on.

I mean, you know it is gonna be an awesome time when you have to remember where you parked by remembering "Frankenstien".

The only thing that would make it better is if they had more stuff, even if just crap in the gift shop, referencing the deep roots in the classic black and white monster movies. Jaws was considered "old" in the exhibits so I can only imagine what anything black and white would be considered.

Still, a great birthday. I loved it. And of course, now for some select pictures!(total album is on FB if you want to see all of them)

international super friends of jiu jitsu

swiss, japanese, argentinian and american

it does not have wings

but it sure looks like i have a maxipad stuck to my stomach. feels like it too. and just as gross to change.
gotta love some classic hee haw to lighten the mood.

kid memories

I remeber being a little kid when Mt St Helens erupted. How I felt a real twinge of fear when the ash cloud blotted out the sun. Amazed that a snow plow would also move ash off the road.

I used to have a glass mason jar of ash. Its long gone now, sadly. But I still have my May 18th memories.

Sadly in modern times the worst school shooting in Oregon history happened on my birthday. Damn Kip Kinkel, screwing up my day!

Guess I shouldn't be surprised the world is gonna end on my birthday this weekend as well....

!!!!!!

so my visa application for brazil is more of a pain than my one for russia!! stupid trade wars affecting jiu jitsu tourists!

you have to submit a copy of your plane ticket. two pictures. a typed travel itenerrary. a recent copy of a bank statement. what? yeah, and this is just all i can remember.

i was going to apply for my visa now so that i would have it and could make a last second decision on going to compete in july. i would do this as i'm worried about my dicey health and want to have options.

brazil is not making this possible. i either have to commit totally now and get awesome trip insurance or not take the risk.....

any of my readers been to norway in october?? no visa issues there......

just riding along

my greatest love born of my greatest hate

or whatever the real quote from Romeo and Juliet should be, i am at least close and know where it comes from.

my greatest love in this case are california burritos. my greatest hate is the effect they now have on me due to my radically shortened small intestine.

not fun.

how can i continue to live in san diego if i'm unable to partake of my weekly california burrito? i'm already on probation in my SD county citizenship for not using my surf board in the past 12 months.......

Friday my laptop got a virus and died. Taking with it ALL of my photos, videos and documents for the past 4 years. All of them. And the maintenance required light came on in my truck.

Then that night I had a horrible nightmare as you've read in an earlier post.

Saturday I woke up with a chipped tooth from gnashing my teeth in fear during my nightmares. Then the engine management failure light lit up on my new motorcycle while I was many miles from home riding it. And then my face broke out with 4 ugly bits of acne.

Sunday I woke up with a swollen face and distended abdomen.

Which leads me to Monday. Take my old laptop in to see if I can get anything recovered from it. Call the dentist to fix my tooth. Call and get a service appointment for both my vehicles.

I also have two minor, but very annoying water leaks or something at my house that need major investigating and then of course restorative drywall and paint. The caulking in my shower is bad and needs redone.

Hours of job searching on the internet yielded nothing for my field within a hour's drive of San Diego.

They say the miracle comes after the trial of your faith and that steel is made strong in the refiner's fire. I want to believe it but I'm just not feeling it.

FYI

Super glue does not work for dental repair. You can't super glue a chipped tooth back together.

The nightmares have returned. The one that has me awake and typing about it occured barely after having slept for only a hour. And one that in the nightmare had me the most fearful I've been in a long time. I felt so powerless it was like I was possesed or something. Scary.

I remember wanting to scream for help and having my mouth move but nothing come out. I remember wanting to get out of bed and run but feeling as if I was paralyzed, or physically restrained in some way.
I remember hearing a voice in my head telling me no one would help me, no one can hear me, there is nothing I can do. It told me I could never get away and that it was going to get me.
I remember right before waking up yelling and hyperventilating the image that filled my minds eye was just the nose of an animal panting heavily.

Now I feel awake, but drained. Hardly rested but afraid to go back to sleep. I'm starting to hate the night again. My nightmares are returning.....

Thoughts this morning.

From a Brazilian catadore "99 is not 100." One person, one thing, one action, one idea apart from the group can make a difference.

There is right, there is wrong and there is a difference between things, people, places. 99 is not 100.

Completion. Effort. Did you give truly your all? 99 is not 100.

*************************************************************

From a fellow produce clerk back in the day, "Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered." Greed, avarice, uncontrolled lust all lead to the slaughter. Of your life, your morals, your dreams.

Dreams, goals, hopes, aspirations, drive, assertiveness, honest and hard work all lead you to a proper, good success. The fat of the land.

*************************************************************

If you wish to give me a present for my birthday I ask instead that you do this, donate to the Crohns and Colitis Foundation of America. More especially donate here if you want: Help me here!

This was my view at 6am. My first jiu jitsu instructor, Fabio Santos, used to say, "A champion doesn't get up in the morning and brush his teeth, he gets up and runs." And while this seems like an odd saying, I got the jist of it. In my case I didn't run, but did 40 minutes of circuit training.

the Byronic man

For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed;
And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,
And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!

Happy Mother's Day

Today was great but......

Today was great. An epic mountain bike ride, huge In-n-Out lunch and 3 hour nap. Oh, and quite possibly the biggest mnt bike crash of my life that didn't result in a broken bone. And now the Supercross finale is on and I have yet to pick where I am gonna take myself out to dinner. I want BBQ but that is gonna be an impossibly long wait on a Saturday night.


But as great as today was next few Saturday's are gonna be at least as awesome if not more so!!

Check the schedule and check your boredom at the door!

14- 9am group sport bike ride.
1pm Spring Fest for Allied Gardens neighborhood. Sweet food, music and such.
4pm D and C's house warming party!

21- My Birthday!! Gonna go to Universal Studios and so all the stuff there for the day.

28- Going to visit family in Utah. Rock climbing and possibly the World Superbike Race as well. Family, food and fun for sure.

June 4- Competing in the World freaking Championships of Brazilian Jiu Jitus!!! up at the Pyramid in Long Beach.

11- Celebrating my friend's PHD!! Killer's graduation weekend as well!

So yeah, as great as today was the next handful of Saturdays are gonna be great too!!