No you can't have it, I already marked it!!

When I was between 5 and 10 years old, the ages where Santa Claus and Christmas hold you in absolute thrall, my dad worked for Sears as a manager. Around Thanksgiving time we would have him give each of us a copy of the regular Sear's holiday catalog and the special supplement that was all about toys and such.

For those of you born after 1992 large department stores would mail you a metropolitan phone book sized catalog 3 times a year. This way you didn't need to go to the store, could look at every possible thing they have if you local store didn't have it, learn all about lay-away and generally just had your small consumer spark turned into a bonfire. It would be as if every BestBuy, Gap, Tiffanys, Crate&Barrel, Snap On, MAC catalog you get now came bundled together all at once.

The arrival of it motivated us little kids like few things did. If you wanted Santa or Grandma to get you something, well we knew they weren't mind readers. Shhhhhh, but sometimes they even made mistakes! Even when they used mom and dad as "helpers" things could still go awry. You had to have a fool proof way of getting your little kid desires out. How to fix this?

Sit down with the new Sears catalog, especially the Christmas toy one, and a black El Marko Marksalot marker. First, you gottta circle the item. This tells the other siblings you're interested and they better change what they like. Secondly you write your initial, in my case a R in the circle clearly. The larger and bolder you write signifies your level of desire. A halo of black marker stars around an item mean that without you'll probably run away xmas morning if things don't go right.

Occasionally we would only get one catalog and would have to share it. I don't remember too many fights, but it seems we were pretty conciliatory towards each other. "NO, I want the Smokey and the Bandit RC TransAM!"
"Well, I marked it first. Here look, a few pages away is a really cool RC airplane. Think how much fun you'd have with that. You should mark that instead!"
"Oh yeah, good idea, thanks!"

Then the catalog was presented solemnly to mom, as if I had fulfilled some special assignment. The knights returning from a dangerous mission to give report to the queen. But if I cruised through the internet now with a virtual black marker, here are some things that would have a big ol' R written on them.

size A1 vulkan gi, black, pro light ($160)

cyclops trainer for bicycle, no real preference ($200-400)

glock 19 ($600)

johnny rivers, animals or any 60's bluesy rock band CDs ($20)

springfield armory scout squad rifle ($1500)

Carl Fogarty's autobiography (probably outta print $25)

vans shoes size 8 ($40)

brazilian portugeuse lessons at language door near my house ($?$)

revtek 3" lift for my truck ($350)

jeans. 30w 30L, loose fit. ($40-100)

jiu jitsu private lessons ($100 hour)

Arai motorcycle helmet ($500)

ammunition 9mm, 12g, 22lr-not cheap stuff that jams, .308. ($100)

new Spy motocross goggles ($60)

i don't direct this towards anyone in particular, if i come out of my surgery good right around xmas time then i really will be happy enough. but if you're feeling altruistic or have won the lottery......

'cause the grand total is about $4,400......just saying....