Rumination

The job I had for 6 years, nuclear medicine, paid me between $36 and $48 per hour. Where I work now is $10 per hour.

In those 6 years working nuc med, only at one job did I live too far away to ride my bicycle to work. I would be riding my bike almost 55 miles each day if I rode where I work now. I also loose $6 per day in toll road fees.

Working where I did in the hospital I never worked past 5pm and was on call once a month. Call could be very busy, but I was compensated properly for it at around $60 per hour and at least $10 per hour just to carry the pager. Where I work now I am home at 730PM, work weekends and have no perceived control of my schedule.

Oh, and of course no health insurance, vacation or paid holidays where I work now. The benefits are being able to wear shorts and get a discount on bicycle stuff (after 90 days of employment).

Where does this lead me? I've been working this job for "fun", hoping that I could put family things number one and then my personal stuff number two with this job filling in the left over time. That is not happening.

I find that I am compromising too often family and personal things for this job. That is not how I want it to be. And of course the frustration I feel and loss of self-esteem over not being able to work what I went to college for, got a BS degree for, have a talent for and still pay student loans for is heightened more and more each day. What should have been a time filler, fun and a little extra change is becoming everything but.

What to do, what to do? I think I will go back to being a house dude. With that though we would let the house keeper, $160 a month and the gardener $90 a month go to offset 50% of the loss from my extra job now. I of course would then take over their roles full time. Doing the house work, the family duties and then my personal interests.

This is what I want to do. Now just to make sure I feel inside me it is the right thing.