Library clerk 1: You owe $5.00 for damage to the Hezbollah book you checked out.
Me: What? I don't drink coffee, I'm Mormon.
LC 1 to LC 2:He says he doesn't drink coffee, he is Mormon, what do I do?
Library Clerk 2: (looks at Hezbollah book with stain on a few pages) Well, I don't know if it really is coffee or not. But he still has to pay.
Me: So, I don't drink coffee, you are charging me for a stain you don't even know what is but you are calling it coffee anyways and I still have to pay?
Library Clerk 1: Yes. Please just try to bring a dollar next time you are here.
Wow....no respect.
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