Am I?

Crazy? Delusional? Tormented?

The results came back for my sleep study regarding my parasomnias. Negative, which means normal. There is no biological reason while I sleep to 1. have constant nightmares that wake me, make me yell out and sometimes paralyze me and 2. the number of times I wake per night and that I only sleep for 2 hours or less at a stretch most nights.

Leading me to think if my night troubles don't have a physiological origin then they must have a psychological one... I used to think dreams were just "neurological backwash" for lack a better term. Poorly tuned, static filled images in one's brain television.

But normal people don't have the number of nightmares I do. Or wake up as often as I do. If it's not my body it has to be my mind.

So what is going on in my mind?

So, uh, what's your major?

Well my first week of college is in the books! Haahahaha. OK, not my first week ever, as I have a bachelors of science already so I've "done my time" as it were.

Just taking two classes, introductory algebra/geometry and digital imaging. Math is pretty simple but the teacher is a trip! Seems like freshmen community college students are like the 8th graders of the university world. Guess that would make anyone who has been doing it for years a crazy, mean, weird, old lady. 'Cause she is! At least I leave that class feeling pretty smart about my math ability! hahaha.

Digital imaging class is a mix of photography and photoshop. Using a DSLR I have down fairly good for a hobbiest but I've never used photoshop. Until $450 (student discount!) later and now. Here are the first two things I did at home, just using youtube tutorials, never having even seen CS6 until doing these.


I gotta say, I really enjoy being around lots of people. Having deadlines and requirements. Using both my left and right brain for doing math and being creative. It's pretty enjoyable when it's not utterly frustrating due to just the dumbness of California school budgets and bureaucracy.

Finally, it seems all I've done for fun is skip going to bootcamp and swim in the ocean. Oh and of course shooting competitions and practice. I can't wait to ride a bike again and start doing other different fun stuff. You know me.............

Wet n Wild Wednesdays.

Nope, not a trip to the waterpark but rather snorkeling. Well, it started as snorkeling but the water was turbid and the swell was kinda up, so not really the best shark viewing conditions. So from that we decided to go do some basic free diving.

Swim off shore to a buoy. Relax. Find the chain connecting the buoy to the ocean floor. Relax. Three good breathes. Submerge. Equalize your ears. Start going hand over hand down the chain to the bottom. Relax. Slowly exhale continually and ascend to the surface. Repeat.

Like so:

Wanna know something really cool? Of the three of us that went today, there was basically a 20 year age difference between all of us, from JB to me(RB)20 years, and 20 from me to DB. But we all were able to get along, share knowledge, help each other and have a good time. It's not really your age, it's your attitude!!

National Photography Day

All photos taken by me and all within the past day to month.

Take it, the fork in the road.

Little bit of day dreaming here, but bjorn with me. SuperD is fully vested at work 9-2015, or two years from now. If things continue upward then hopefully the housing market rebounds as well, making it an ideal time to move from San Diego after that date.

Fork in the road A. Move to the Austin Texas area if family requires it. If you gotta live in Texas, then Austin seems to be the place to do it. I've been there lots of times and I'm sure I could find all sorts of things to like about the area and importantly lots of "newness" in things to me. Wages, housing, taxes and such are all OK there, so no worries. Just gotta get used to the weather and the "Texas" part of living in Texas.

If J2W move there for graduate school that'd just be an even greater bonus. More family, more fun right? I can still motorcycle there, shoot there and enjoy a healthy outdoor lifestyle. I'm sure it's just wishful thinking but there seems to be an air of openness and possibility to the place.

Fork Z. Same basic steps as Fork A, sell the house, make sure family is taken care of in any way we can and then move to say, Lillehammer Norway. And yes, before you ask I have been there before. Just last year. And I know SD makes you a weather wuss, but I did grow up in rural, mountainous parts of Oregon, Washington and Montana. I can deal with snow and such.

Heck, I'm 50% Norwegian so it shouldn't be that big of a step. Would it be a major change to almost every area of life? Oh heck yeah, but that's part of the great draw! Relearning food, recreation, travel, language, work, home life. All of it! To me that sounds like a great time. Annnnnnd they have a health system in place if my Crohns did ever go south again I could be taken care of just fine.

A subset of Fork Z, Z.1a, is that it could be done in Italy, New Zealand or a different Scandinavian country than Norway. Live smart, live within your income level and live new.

So for the next two years I need to live the hell out of being in San Diego, cause who knows what fork will be in the road next???

C C C C Change!!

I don't just crave change, I need it. It is a hardwired, biological, unrelenting force in me. What's the difference between a rut and a grave? Jut the size of the hole.

So as I sit here going nutso, waiting for UPS and FedEx I'm trying to get my frenetic side under control. The side that wants to buy a mascot costume, light it on fire and run and jump off a cliff into the ocean just for fun. Let just my rowdy-ness out! It's so bad, my change impulse, that I painted my toes.

With that I'm trying to positively focus on some future changes. Silly or good.

1. I'm growing a beard. Which is a change. But now that I have it, I want to shave it off. For some quick and easy change. What to do, what to do.... I'll probably try to make it through the first week of classes (see below) and then shave it off.


2. Classes. I signed up for a simple math class and a digital imaging class at Mesa College. They start next Tuesday. As most of you know, I haven't had anything required of me for a looooooong time. As my job search has been a failure on par with reasonable mass transit in the US, I'm pinning a lot of my hopes for having a good week on what happens at school. Yes, I know I already graduated from college and these classes are just for the fun of it. But I need something, other people, responsibility and out of the house!!

3. Motorcycles. I've decided to spend one Saturday a month riding my dirt bike. Get out of San Diego, go explore, be physical. Just do something different. Not sure of the exact start of this, but this fall for a certainty.


I still need a change in my workout, physical activity. Bootcamp has been great, but it's kinda boring now after 7 months. I still desire some sort of physical appearance change. If my being a semi-professional shooter doesn't turn into anything by the end of this year, that's gonna have to get toned down as it's just too expensive a thing for what I get out of it.

Where is my daily personal satisfaction dang it!?!?!?!? I just gotta make it one week till some of this stuff kicks in, then we'll see how I feel. New. New. New.

Take a chance.

Went to go snorkeling in La Jolla Cove yesterday and while in the shallows these two dudes started just chatting with me out of the blue. They were pretty obviously not big time water guys and in the course of their introductions they asked if I would go with them to swim through one of the caves with sea lions in it.

Because they were scared and didn't want to go alone.

Think about it, adult males in their 20s admitted to a stranger they were scared and asked for me to essentially hold their hands. Wow, no way would I have ever done that in my 20s! Ever.

As we swam and talked they turned out to be pretty cool guys and I hung out and swam with them longer than I really needed to. New friends! In fact, I went out of my way to use my camera and get pictures and video for them, I'll be emailing them the link soon. You can watch the video now:

You know, when you're traveling you just got to take a chance that most people are intrinsically good. You might just get a pleasant surprise. Like a light house tour. Or dinner with a new family; eating with your hands out of a communal pot. A gate or door unlocked to a room normally off limits. History. Insight.

Go for it!