Am I?

Crazy? Delusional? Tormented?

The results came back for my sleep study regarding my parasomnias. Negative, which means normal. There is no biological reason while I sleep to 1. have constant nightmares that wake me, make me yell out and sometimes paralyze me and 2. the number of times I wake per night and that I only sleep for 2 hours or less at a stretch most nights.

Leading me to think if my night troubles don't have a physiological origin then they must have a psychological one... I used to think dreams were just "neurological backwash" for lack a better term. Poorly tuned, static filled images in one's brain television.

But normal people don't have the number of nightmares I do. Or wake up as often as I do. If it's not my body it has to be my mind.

So what is going on in my mind?