On THIS day............

It's been almost a month since I posted and I think I know why.

This is the very first day of my life where I've felt more of my life is behind me than in front of me.

All of the big things in life have already happened. I've been born, grew up, married, had children, went to college, worked a professional job, traveled the world. The only big life events to come up are retirement and death. That's it. And since I don't work a regular job that only leaves the final event.....

Another crushing realization on this day is that I'm also now at a point where I used to be better at more things than I am now or will be in the future. I can't think of but more than 2 or 3 things I'll be better at in 10 years than I am now, or were. And they're mostly intangible things like "being patient" or "photography" and so forth.

I will never be as good at riding a motorcycle, riding a bicycle, running, brazilian jiu jitsu, surfing, autocrossing, tennis, writing, rock climbing, math and deductive reasoning as I have been at any other time in my life before today.

I don't feel like my life is over, and there are many things I'm looking forward to doing. But I feel I am on the downward side of it all. So I guess I now truly am old........... I'm definitely past the middle of my life expectancy.

I look forward with a smile to time with family, travel, learning some new things, hopefully staying healthy and so on. But when I think of just me, myself and I. Well it seems I'll never be again now as "good" as I ever was before.

How's that for a shock of cold water immersion reality?