As I sat in traffic near Mission Valley mall yesterday I saw people begging at the intersections, like normal. With the mild weather I think SD is a popular place to be homeless or transient. In this case it was an obviously pregnant, disheveled woman doing the begging. Or should I say pleading?
In my mind my first thought was, I wonder if that is padding or is she in someway faking being pregnant to get more money? Closer visual inspection and she looked legit. And as I sat there averting my gaze after previously staring, the thought came strongly to my mind, "Can I see another's lack and I not care? Have you fed the hungry? Clothed the naked?", all of these New Testament style Christian thoughts.
Let me inerrupt this by saying I have ZERO white guilt, zero guilt about being a 3%er. I am nice to people in the service industry but I have no problem watching TV while the housekeeper cleans the house. I don't fly across an ocean unless it is in first class. You get the picture I hope. I'm hopefully not a bore to people I know in real life, but I'm also not afraid to use money to my advantage.
So I opened the change tray in my truck and in it was a $20 bill. I thought what the heck, I didn't even know I had a twenty in there and so why not. Let's give here some money like she is asking for. As other people are fond of saying, who am I to judge?
Roll down the window, whistle to get her attention and palm her the bill. She says a quiet thank you and walks back to doing her "work". I drive off and go eat some pizza. The end.
Nope. Later on in the afternoon I was lounging in a friends swimming pool and thought to myself about this whole occurrence. Giving money to beggars is rare for me. Like once every two years. I had a strong feeling inside to give her some money, so I listened to that feeling. Gotta trust those kinds of inputs into your life or things are just random and wild, driven by whims with no foundation.
But what did $20 really do for her? It didn't get a room for the night. Pre natal vitamins? I't didn't get her new clothes or shoes to make living outside or in her car more comfortable. It didn't cover a copay for a doctor visit. It didn't mean the difference between paying her mortgage or car payment? Did it? So what was it worth? Two or three meals? Food for a day? Some weed or beer? I don't know.....
I'm sure it helped with some sort of immediate need but I felt kinda sad that it did nothing for her long term. Which got me to thinking what does help people long term? And help from what? This lead to some heavy thinking and pondering. And no answers.....
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Sometimes it isn't the money that helps, it is that you reached out to her. I always give a smile to people begging, even though I don't give them money. No one should have to feel like they are less than a person. And you (not the $20) probably helped her feel like a human.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading a lot about Mother Teresa (for book club this month) and there are many times that she expresses the sentiment that poverty is not the worst part about the situation of those she helped but loneliness was. Not feeling loved is worse than being poor (and these people were in extreme poverty). I wish I had a better answer as to how to help these people in the long term, but I think helping them feel less alone and more "human" is a good thing to do.
Just catching up on your blog, but I liked this post. Don't have any answers either. Tyler always gives way more than I think he should (considering we are always struggling), but it makes him feel good. Sunday he dropped us off after church to go back and help a man standing at the freeway entrance. Parked, and got out of the car to talk to him and see what he needed. Turns out he needed $6 more dollars for a hotel room to get rested and cleaned up. Done!
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