Am I?

Crazy? Delusional? Tormented?

The results came back for my sleep study regarding my parasomnias. Negative, which means normal. There is no biological reason while I sleep to 1. have constant nightmares that wake me, make me yell out and sometimes paralyze me and 2. the number of times I wake per night and that I only sleep for 2 hours or less at a stretch most nights.

Leading me to think if my night troubles don't have a physiological origin then they must have a psychological one... I used to think dreams were just "neurological backwash" for lack a better term. Poorly tuned, static filled images in one's brain television.

But normal people don't have the number of nightmares I do. Or wake up as often as I do. If it's not my body it has to be my mind.

So what is going on in my mind?

So, uh, what's your major?

Well my first week of college is in the books! Haahahaha. OK, not my first week ever, as I have a bachelors of science already so I've "done my time" as it were.

Just taking two classes, introductory algebra/geometry and digital imaging. Math is pretty simple but the teacher is a trip! Seems like freshmen community college students are like the 8th graders of the university world. Guess that would make anyone who has been doing it for years a crazy, mean, weird, old lady. 'Cause she is! At least I leave that class feeling pretty smart about my math ability! hahaha.

Digital imaging class is a mix of photography and photoshop. Using a DSLR I have down fairly good for a hobbiest but I've never used photoshop. Until $450 (student discount!) later and now. Here are the first two things I did at home, just using youtube tutorials, never having even seen CS6 until doing these.


I gotta say, I really enjoy being around lots of people. Having deadlines and requirements. Using both my left and right brain for doing math and being creative. It's pretty enjoyable when it's not utterly frustrating due to just the dumbness of California school budgets and bureaucracy.

Finally, it seems all I've done for fun is skip going to bootcamp and swim in the ocean. Oh and of course shooting competitions and practice. I can't wait to ride a bike again and start doing other different fun stuff. You know me.............

Wet n Wild Wednesdays.

Nope, not a trip to the waterpark but rather snorkeling. Well, it started as snorkeling but the water was turbid and the swell was kinda up, so not really the best shark viewing conditions. So from that we decided to go do some basic free diving.

Swim off shore to a buoy. Relax. Find the chain connecting the buoy to the ocean floor. Relax. Three good breathes. Submerge. Equalize your ears. Start going hand over hand down the chain to the bottom. Relax. Slowly exhale continually and ascend to the surface. Repeat.

Like so:

Wanna know something really cool? Of the three of us that went today, there was basically a 20 year age difference between all of us, from JB to me(RB)20 years, and 20 from me to DB. But we all were able to get along, share knowledge, help each other and have a good time. It's not really your age, it's your attitude!!

National Photography Day

All photos taken by me and all within the past day to month.

Take it, the fork in the road.

Little bit of day dreaming here, but bjorn with me. SuperD is fully vested at work 9-2015, or two years from now. If things continue upward then hopefully the housing market rebounds as well, making it an ideal time to move from San Diego after that date.

Fork in the road A. Move to the Austin Texas area if family requires it. If you gotta live in Texas, then Austin seems to be the place to do it. I've been there lots of times and I'm sure I could find all sorts of things to like about the area and importantly lots of "newness" in things to me. Wages, housing, taxes and such are all OK there, so no worries. Just gotta get used to the weather and the "Texas" part of living in Texas.

If J2W move there for graduate school that'd just be an even greater bonus. More family, more fun right? I can still motorcycle there, shoot there and enjoy a healthy outdoor lifestyle. I'm sure it's just wishful thinking but there seems to be an air of openness and possibility to the place.

Fork Z. Same basic steps as Fork A, sell the house, make sure family is taken care of in any way we can and then move to say, Lillehammer Norway. And yes, before you ask I have been there before. Just last year. And I know SD makes you a weather wuss, but I did grow up in rural, mountainous parts of Oregon, Washington and Montana. I can deal with snow and such.

Heck, I'm 50% Norwegian so it shouldn't be that big of a step. Would it be a major change to almost every area of life? Oh heck yeah, but that's part of the great draw! Relearning food, recreation, travel, language, work, home life. All of it! To me that sounds like a great time. Annnnnnd they have a health system in place if my Crohns did ever go south again I could be taken care of just fine.

A subset of Fork Z, Z.1a, is that it could be done in Italy, New Zealand or a different Scandinavian country than Norway. Live smart, live within your income level and live new.

So for the next two years I need to live the hell out of being in San Diego, cause who knows what fork will be in the road next???

C C C C Change!!

I don't just crave change, I need it. It is a hardwired, biological, unrelenting force in me. What's the difference between a rut and a grave? Jut the size of the hole.

So as I sit here going nutso, waiting for UPS and FedEx I'm trying to get my frenetic side under control. The side that wants to buy a mascot costume, light it on fire and run and jump off a cliff into the ocean just for fun. Let just my rowdy-ness out! It's so bad, my change impulse, that I painted my toes.

With that I'm trying to positively focus on some future changes. Silly or good.

1. I'm growing a beard. Which is a change. But now that I have it, I want to shave it off. For some quick and easy change. What to do, what to do.... I'll probably try to make it through the first week of classes (see below) and then shave it off.


2. Classes. I signed up for a simple math class and a digital imaging class at Mesa College. They start next Tuesday. As most of you know, I haven't had anything required of me for a looooooong time. As my job search has been a failure on par with reasonable mass transit in the US, I'm pinning a lot of my hopes for having a good week on what happens at school. Yes, I know I already graduated from college and these classes are just for the fun of it. But I need something, other people, responsibility and out of the house!!

3. Motorcycles. I've decided to spend one Saturday a month riding my dirt bike. Get out of San Diego, go explore, be physical. Just do something different. Not sure of the exact start of this, but this fall for a certainty.


I still need a change in my workout, physical activity. Bootcamp has been great, but it's kinda boring now after 7 months. I still desire some sort of physical appearance change. If my being a semi-professional shooter doesn't turn into anything by the end of this year, that's gonna have to get toned down as it's just too expensive a thing for what I get out of it.

Where is my daily personal satisfaction dang it!?!?!?!? I just gotta make it one week till some of this stuff kicks in, then we'll see how I feel. New. New. New.

Take a chance.

Went to go snorkeling in La Jolla Cove yesterday and while in the shallows these two dudes started just chatting with me out of the blue. They were pretty obviously not big time water guys and in the course of their introductions they asked if I would go with them to swim through one of the caves with sea lions in it.

Because they were scared and didn't want to go alone.

Think about it, adult males in their 20s admitted to a stranger they were scared and asked for me to essentially hold their hands. Wow, no way would I have ever done that in my 20s! Ever.

As we swam and talked they turned out to be pretty cool guys and I hung out and swam with them longer than I really needed to. New friends! In fact, I went out of my way to use my camera and get pictures and video for them, I'll be emailing them the link soon. You can watch the video now:

You know, when you're traveling you just got to take a chance that most people are intrinsically good. You might just get a pleasant surprise. Like a light house tour. Or dinner with a new family; eating with your hands out of a communal pot. A gate or door unlocked to a room normally off limits. History. Insight.

Go for it!

Kiss my Converse

Just call me Sho-Nuff. Don't get it? Then you weren't a kid in the 80's the way I was. But I won't hold it against you. I actually feel more I'm from the 90's anyways.

So, shooting. And competition. In what I do there are gun division and skill classifications. From bottom to top the classifications are UNclassified, MarksMan, SharpShooter, EXpert and MAster. In one of the gun divisions I am EX. This past Saturday I finally beat a MA class shooter for the first time! And by like 4 seconds, not 0.01 or something like that.

Sadly for me, my main local competition at EX has also really bumped his game up in the past few months and he beat me by like almost 9 seconds. He was first overall and I was second overall out of the 33 people there that day. And double bad, he is also going to the national championships where we will shoot against each other.

There are 33 shooters in our division and classification. According to the rules that means trophies for 1st through 11th. A great performance I'd be totally happy with would be in the trophy range. An acceptable performance would have me in the top half, no lower than say 16th. Anything less than that placing and I will be inconsolable for a few days.

Here is a bit of the match. The guy in the gray vest is the other EX mentioned whom I'm always chasing for the win.

IDPA match at Pala. August 10, 2013 from rowdy matt on Vimeo.

Surfing plans fell through for today. Shooting rifles plans fell through today. So it looks like I'll do laundry, return a text book, schedule a motorcycle service and practice practice practice.

Son of a Gun

So my last grandparent died this past week. The funeral was today in Oregon. I didn't attend as I had a local shooting match I needed to attend in preparation for the national championships.

I'm sure he'd understand actually. But I do have to admit it is weird to think of my family tree's contracting. My parents are in their 60's.... I'm not sure I'm ready for what happens next. Let's banish that thought...

When I was talking to my mom about the funeral and travel and such I asked if I could have a family memento, that would remind me of the early years in our family. Something multi-generational. After much discussion about it, she was able to secure an old brass hunting horn for me, that I do remember from like being 5 years old. It has no particular story, my grandmother had bought it an estate sale is all.

But now that all my grandparents are dead I needed something from this side of my family. So from my mom's side I have this horn. From my dad's side I have the dish they (my paternal grandparents) used to keep candy in for us when we visited. Nothing worth much at all, probably $20 for the both of them but emotionally priceless.

So now as I'm feeling nostalgic about my childhood here are some seldom seen, early pictures of me, some with my grandparents on both sides.

And the title? Well it just fits on a lot of levels, I'll let you figure them all out. I love my grandparents. I miss them. And I'm thankful for everything the ever sacrificed for me or shared with me.

Mentoring Pt 2.

So my little neighbor buddy asked me to take him surfing again today. And snorkeling as he leaves for a family trip to Cancun soon and he wanted the practice. He was 10 minutes early to my house, 750am and all ready to go!

This time we, well 'he' since he paid for it ($8 for an hour) and the kid is only 14, rented a 10' foamy board, so something much better for him to learn on. And by the end of the hour he had stood up pretty well twice! He wants to keep going and doesn't mind the suffering of learning something new. Surprisingly humble about it for a teenager. More concerned with learning than how he looks.

He wanted me to film him but I told him he needs to stand up reliably before I'll film him. But today I did put together a fun little edit of me surfing on the small summer mush I like so well and then snorkeling with the seals.

He earns the gas money by cleaning all of our gear after each trip and my listening to me. Next time I told him it's also going to cost him a Peanut Buster Parfait from DQ. Hmmm.... might have to take him more than once a week.

The vid!

parking wars 2.0

I hate paying to park. It is the number one reason I don't ever go downtown. I like what downtown has to offer but couple paying to park and lots of homeless people and I just end up always finding a reason not to go downtown for anything.

Probably the most egregious example of getting worked over for parking was when I worked for UCSD. I was charged $90 a month to park for work! Crazy! And then if I added on a motorcycle it was $40 a month! Wow... good thing I was making more than $20 a hour, but still...... $90 bucks a month just to park at work.

Being the crafty guy I am, one who enjoys subverting the system, I have a long history of battling the parking police and often getting away with it. Right or wrong, I still seem to find a perverse pleasure in doing it.

I love when I have a new vehicle and no plate. Hellooo free trips through the toll roads. No plate for them to photo!
In college I bought my first semesters parking hang tag for my car. After that I just made color copies of a friends and then cut and pasted it onto my old hanger; thus giving me the semblance on quick inspection of a current parking hang tag.

You get the idea.

Well for the community college class I start in two weeks I will be riding a motorcycle to class probably 90% of the time. A parking sticker for a motorcycle is $17 for a semester, so that seems a decent enough deal. The problem is that I have two motorcycles...... Now with a car you can just move your hang tag from vehicle to vehicle and it's not big deal. But with the motorcycle they want the sticker stuck to your fork leg. (the front of the motorcycle)

So what if I want to ride one of my other motorcycles? "They" say, but another motorcycle parking pass. But then I feel that is wrong as I'm being punished for riding a motorcycle when I should be getting a break. Especially in comparison to a car. So no way am I buying a second motorcycle parking sticker!

How am I getting around this? First option I'm trying, is I bought a flat magnet the same size with an adhesive size and stuck the permit to it. Now I can just slap my permit onto the gas tank of any motorcycle I ride. But if anyone looks closely they could see it is not permanently attached and just take the magnetic parking pass off. Dirty thieves. $4 in cost.

Second idea I have is to slide the parking sticker into a clear, hard plastic luggage tag holder. Then through the loop hole run a small combination cable lock. Like the kind used for luggage or camera bags and such. Then I have a hard, see through cover and a way to lock it to my bike. Downside to this is I then have to remember to take it off before riding away. And then I'm into it for $10.

Third idea? Just buy a second pass as they are only $17 and get over it. But it's the principle of the thing that keeps me from doing that!!! Probably cost the same amount of money as I'll spend on my projects circumventing it and with less to worry about, fiddling with a single pass.

Argh!!

Mentor Me

When I moved into the house I'm currently in the neighbor kid was like 8 or 9 years old. Now he is 15. We've goofed off a lot together over the years. Fireworks, stilts, bicycles and so on.

Well last week he was hanging out with me in my garage and asked me if I would take him surfing as he'd never been and it was one of his things to do this summer. After I reassured his mom he wouldn't drown we made a time to get together.

Now, I'm not a capital S surfer. I just goof off at it for fun 'cause I live in San Diego and I can. But I know the basics well enough to get most people started. (or break their teeth out!) So it was kinda cool to help someone learn a new thing, especially as he was sooo enthusiastic about it and once to go once a week till school starts.



That's the kiddo above there in the photo. Next time if it looks like he is starting to stand up I'll let him use my GoPro and get some pictures of him actually surfing. He'll like that!

Now this isn't exactly new to me. Back when I was living in Oregon and going to college I was big into rock climbing. Heck, I was the president of the Southern Oregon Rock Climbing Club based outta nearby Ashland Oregon at the university. I taught people new to the club how to climb. I met highschool kids at my job who needed to do a senior project to graduate and every year I would be helping one complete this project, learning to rock climb, so they could graduate.

In my own college I wrote a rock climbing guide to a local area for a technical writing class. So yeah, at one time I knew my stuff. And if you have a good student, even though I'm not a very good surfer, it is still a good feeling to help someone learn.

Sleep Study Vid

So here is the preparation of me sleeping for science. Well, medicine really not just science. I'm anxiously waiting my results.
This is about half of what was done to me as you can see by the ending photo in the vid.



Something I'd never thought of is how important sleep must be if we spend almost 1/3 of our life in it. I mean, doesn't every person complain of being tired and not sleeping enough? It seems universal, not an individual medical problem. But then I stop and think of how many adults I know who complain of nightmares on average of 3 nights per week and then I realize I do have something not quite right and that going to see a doctor about it is OK.

I'm not crazy and I'm not a wuss. Sleep is important and I need to have my issue with it treated.

And as a bonus, here is the very first video I ever put on youtube, back in 2007. My "office" in Baghdad.

Getting Hassled By The Man....

In the past week I've been hassled by The Man more than I have been in the past like 4 years. Barring the speeding ticket I got in Utah earlier this year, which I totally deserved and took like a man. That was his job and he did it quickly and didn't hassle me.

Here locally though it has been a different story in the past few days.

-On each of my motorcycles I've gotten hard second looks from cops as I ride past them, "just riding along". One even followed me for a bit. I have a license for a motorcycle. I have insurance. I wear a real helmet. I'm an adult male with no criminal record. So why they gotta give me the stink eye? Braaap! And I'm gone.

Just like when people tell me, "you can't park there" on my bike or try to squeeze me with their car when I legally lane split. I could just smack someone.
(this is my helmet and yes I took this pic)

-While out shooting on public BLM land, with all legal guns, all registered, everything legit a Border Patrol agent rolls up on me in a cloud of dust with his M4 (think assault rifle) and begins the 20 questions. What guns am I shooting? Are they registered? Where am I shooting and at what targets? I answer all of these and he calms down a bit. Then a new line of questioning begins with "Are you shooting steel core ammo?" Steel core ammo is cheap russian junk, so no of course I am not shooting it. He goes on to tell me about how a ricochet from steel core ammo could easily set a fire and he wants to look at my ammo. I say I have all brass but for one box of steel cased ammo I am finishing off. This gets him all in mcgruff the crime dog mode.

Uh, dude, though you are a Federal Agent, checking my guns out isn't your job. No probable cause other than he felt like it.

So he proceeds to pester me about the steel cased ammo to which I finally and sharply reply, "Do you got a magnet?" He did not. Mr Xray eyes can not determine the ferrous and non-ferrous components of my ammo so he needs to just lay off and go away.

Then I use the classic, "Hey look over there, I think I see someone!" which was great because I actually did. He eventually saw them as well after my second act of pointing the person ducking in and out of bushes 400 yards away. So he finally leaves with his parting words of "Well, I support the 2nd amendment, so go do your thing."

Go do your job dude. Do I look like some sort of crazy militia member that you need to tell me something like that?


-Finally, after my sleep study I went to an open to the public day at the Charger's training camp this morning. Parked good, got in easy, lots of fan excitement, maybe buy a jersey or something. A great morning.

So far. Until The Man strikes again!

I had barely gotten 12 pictures taken when I notice a security guard on the other side of the fence following me. So I keep walking and he is pacing me and eye balling me. I stop and rest on the fence to which he comes right to me, as I expected by his behavior and says "You know why I wanna talk to you?"

"No, why?", I say.

"You can't have long lenses.", says the guard.

"Dude, I checked when I came in the door and they said it was OK. Who says it isn't OK now?" I reply with incredulity.

"They are telling me in my earpiece you need to put your camera away." So I take my camera off my neck, set it on the ground and put my sweatshirt over it. The guard walks away. I take out my phone and start using it for pics. But at this stage I'm pissed.

Some background. As I walked in I was taking pictures through the fence of stuff like their 8 pallets of gatorade, practice equipment and so on. Another fan says to me, "Can you take my picture, you look like you know what you're doing." A few minutes later another fan walks past me and says, "Oh man, I wish I'd brought a professional camera."

The website says exactly this regarding cameras, "No long lenses." That's it. So I see people video taping there. I see other people there with dslr cameras with similar lenses and yet I'm the only one told to stop. I was using my D7000 and a 200mm lens. Decidedly consumer level equipment.

But when you have a poorly written rule and arbitrary enforcement then they can do things like that. I'm a fan, not a professional. I'm not a spy, my last name isn't Belichick.

This left a bad taste in my mouth. So I left after being there maybe 30 minutes. I was going to spend money on a jersey there but I didn't. Nor did I support any of the other vendors there like I had planned on. The comment I left on the Chargers Instagram account was deleted. I'm going to email them and ask for clarification of the rule and let them know of my poor experience at a fan event.

Do these pics look professional to you? Is this the type of photo capability to exclude a fan? Boo on you Chargers!

What I am curious about is just what I did to get pointed out into a guards earpiece to be told to stop where others didn't..... I'm gonna just take it as a back handed compliment that I looked like I was a professional or knew what I was doing and thus somehow a threat to the other media people there. Whatever..........

PS-Here is the email I sent to the front office:
I was at the open training camp on August 1st and was told to stop taking pictures by a security guard due to having a "long lens".
I was cleared upon entry, I was using a consumer level dslr and 200mm lens. I am not a professional at all, just a fan.
But the rule on the website is unclear and was arbitrarily enforced as I saw multiple people with the same set up taking pictures while I was made to stop.
This soured me on what should have been a great fan experience that day. I have been to games, I am a home owner in Allied Gardens near the stadium. I am a fan.
But due to how I feel was unfair and uneven treatment I didn't purchase a jersey that day or support any of the other vendors that day either.
Could you please give a more clear, concise and easily enforceable rule concerning your camera policy so this doesn't happen again.

Thank you.

PSS-The next two posts will be about mentoring a kid and a vid of my sleep study. So come back in the next few days! There is always something Rowdy happening!