Hospital Roommate Matrix

Roommate Days Together Talking/Questioning TV Volume Lights on at Night Snoring/Moaning Psychosis Dirty/Smelly Pain Med Addiction Bathroom Crappiness Score Notes
State Prison Parole 2 2 9 9 8 2 9 10 9 60 a.
Slippery Slope 2 8 6 3 8 10 3 5 6 51 b.
Pneumo Go Home 1 6 6 5 4 8 6 3 7 46 c.
Liar Liar 3 3 5 3 6 9 3 6 3 41 d.
Old Guy 1 3 5 4 4 9 2 3 6 4 40 e.
Rowdstar 14 6 1 4 2 2 2 1 3 35 x.
Really Old Guy 2 8 6 5 4 4 2 2 2 35 f.
Young Narc 1 2 2 1 2 3 2 8 2 23 g.
Rating Scale 1=Great, 10=Intollerable 10=Good, 90=Detest

a. Just released from the State Pen, drug addict, moaned and snored constantly, fought with the staff, completely trashed room, TV and lights on 24/7. Crappiness High Score!!
b. Super sick to begin with, treated his family bad, randomly yelled stuff, jumped out of bed and knocked himself out, threatened to hit a nurse. A crotchedy old man to worthless in one night. Totally Altered Mental State to where they moved him away from me it was so bad.
c. Hated his food, wouldn't take his medicine and I had to show him how to get out of the building 'cause he just walked out of the room.
d. In reply to "What did you do for a living?", he replied variously Colonol in the Special Forces, construction company owner, retired NFL player, owner of all the McDonalds' in SD County Wal-Marts. Rrrriiiigght.
e. Not medically sophisticated so everything was frightening to him and was a nervous nelley.
f. A decent guy, just old and blind with lots of problems.
g. Nurse, "Here are your perscriptions for Vicoden, Valium and Flexeril." Young Narc, "Oh, I already have those…." He will learn, just take 'em and run.
x. I only rank up here because of the weighting of how many days I have been here. I'd better if my days together score was only 3.