I wonder...

I wonder what will happen to all the knowledge, data and just "everything" that is currently only found on paper, in dusty almost forgotten archives when paper is truly no more.

Would You?

Seriously. I've heard people say something to the effect of "I'd die for my country/kids/religion" or whatever. OK, so you have something you've stated your wiling to sacrifice your life for, slipping the bonds of this mortal life.

But I want to posit the question to you differently. For the exact same ideal, concept or personage(s) would you live for it/them? Could you instead sacrifice the rest of your life for them, totally, rather than ending it for said subject?

To me that seems much harder.

And the real kicker I'd like to ask someone to answer with all inward searching, soulful truthfulness would you then also kill for it? Killing isn't self defense either. Killing is active, the aggressor.

You might die for it but would you live for it? Kill for it?

Surprised but not really...

I thought my life would be a certain way as a child, in my childlike way. Though maybe not all in the context I thought I would learn these things, I'm still surprised to have learned these things about myself through the years:

-How much blood I can lose before passing out.
-How to stick a needle in my thigh, butt, stomach and shoulder.
-How to push my intestine back through a hole into my body.
-What it feels like to hit the ground, water or another person with enough force to be knocked out.
-How to remove my own sutures and staples.
-Just how far and how long I can walk with 60lbs on my back.
-How many days I can go without solid food, liquids only.
-How to cut my own hair.
-Learning anything about radiation, nuclear physics and other hard sciences.
-How to sky dive.
-That I would travel to countries once considered the enemy during my lifetime.
-That I could stay awake 48 hour without sleep.
-That I would climb the highest mountain in the lower 48.
-That I would win awards for martial arts and shooting competitions.
-That I would work and attend school in foreign countries.
-That I'd have friends in the black world. (I don't mean race)

Life is just crazy. Or at least it has been, as I have no idea how it could be crazier in the future?

No surprise then...

No surprise then that only 1 of the 3 kids called me on Father's Day.

Lyrical living

I'm reminded of the song lyrics, maybe slightly paraphrased, of "Move to New York but leave before it makes you to hard. Move to California but leave before it makes you to soft." I agree with that sentiment.

Sadly, I also have heard a song at least once a day for the past week that plunges me into strong feelings of guilt an inadequacy. The timing of when it came out, where I was in my life, my own history and what I see when I look both inward and outward. Father of Mine, by Everclear. That song crushes me into only thinking about what a truly horrible husband and father I was during those first two marriages and divorces. And how my selfishness damaged children irreparably.

Gut checks to a gut that's only brought me grief itself since I was 11 years old.....

Right and Wrong

Those who've been to Iraq or Afghanistan in the past 15 years have seen first hand what damage tribalism or sectarianism can do to a county. If you haven't been to those places I'll fill you in, it ruins them.

Our political parties, Republican or Democrat, are becoming our tribes here in the USA. Christianity or not our sectarian divide.

We like to think we're better than that as a people. More enlightened. More developed. Richer in means to solve issues.

But that is an absolute lie. The nation isn't in its institutions and neither is its people. Look at the failed states in the world where two distinct groups are vying to lift themselves up by pushing another down. We are going to be just like them.

There are universal truths, right and wrong, yes. But the enmity between either side of the growing divide will destroy us as a people, a nation and even an idea.

Remember

People have and will kill or be killed for an idea or a concept. Heaven, friendship, honor, duty, patriotism or what have you. How committed are you to something as intangible as an idea, belief or concept?