I'm reminded of the song lyrics, maybe slightly paraphrased, of "Move to New York but leave before it makes you to hard. Move to California but leave before it makes you to soft." I agree with that sentiment.
Sadly, I also have heard a song at least once a day for the past week that plunges me into strong feelings of guilt an inadequacy. The timing of when it came out, where I was in my life, my own history and what I see when I look both inward and outward. Father of Mine, by Everclear. That song crushes me into only thinking about what a truly horrible husband and father I was during those first two marriages and divorces. And how my selfishness damaged children irreparably.
Gut checks to a gut that's only brought me grief itself since I was 11 years old.....
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
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