It's going to be an itchy weekend....

I'm a Gemini. I have a strong duality naturally. And right now I feel like such a drug addict and drug dealer. I'm counting my stash, figuring out just how I can use it and when. Rationing. Planning.

I'm trolling the internet, trying to find a hook up. Texting people I don't know and meeting them in a parking lot. Comparing the goods. Arguing on price. Some furtive looks over my shoulder and the deal is done.

And having been out of town, I got some new stuff. Stuff people here don't have. Not only do I buy and use, I also sell. Always trying to make it be to my advantage. The same deal, parking lot meetings with strangers and strings of text messages with numbers not in my phone book.

All for my habit. All for competition.



**for clarification, there is no commercially available 9mm ammo for sale right now. so i am reduced to buying from private parties to have enough ammunition to shoot and practice. thus the odd parallel between the drug trade and what i have to go through to continue in my chosen sport**

The easiest blog posts ever, lists!!

Every once in a while you hear what seems to be a trite saying or some sort of aphorism and eventually you realize its total truth. Back, way back, when I worked in the produce department of a grocery store my boss said, "You want to know the easiest way to do something? Ask the laziest person how to do it." And in some ways, I totally agree with this as long as the easiest way really is the best, most efficient way to do it.

Well when it comes to blogging, writing a post that is a list is the easiest way to make a post. No narrative, no exposition, no pictures even. Just a list. So for today, here is my 'list' post:

THINGS I NEED TO BUY/DO IN THE NEXT TWO or THREE DAYS
-shelving for storage closet DONE
-target stand. either store bought or materials to make my own. DONE
-aaa batteries DONE
-do an ammo swap or two DONE
-put tires on my mountain bike
-wash my truck
-put the registration sticker on the scooter DONE
-do 3 loads of laundry DONE
-buy a new lap top
-practice
-sign back up again for bootcamp
-call the crohns research study people back
-make my Arkansas travel arrangements
-water the outside plants DONE
-change a lightbulb in the kitchen
-buy new rags for the house keeper DONE
-clean and organize the storage closet in the second spare room DONE

There you have it. Even when I am my own boss, I still make myself a big list of junk to do. And now that I've finished Monday's work, for Tuesday I have.....

-put tires on my mnt bike (i don't have them yet)
-wash my truck (will do tomorrow morning)
-buy a lap top (fry's trip, it's near my house)
-practice (got my targets all ready!)
-renew for boot camp (should do tonight as well....)
-call research people back (i deleted their #, so this will take some effort)
-make travel plans for Arkansas trip (will do this very last i bet)
-change lightbulb in kitchen. (i'll do this now i bet, soon as i publish)

the NKVD, KGB, FSB called it "active measures", i call them youthful pranks!

Alright, published or not I got 3 comments requesting a post about my childhood pranks. You voted, you get what you ask for! Democracy at work.

Age 5. While outside playing "Star Trek" with my younger brother we were fighting over who got to be which character. I eventually won and got to be Captain Kirk, while he had to be Spock. In my child like, vengefulness I said to him "Hey Spock, come over here and tell me what this is." Well I knew exactly what it was and what I was going to do with it. A shovel full of dirt. His unwitting face.

"No Spock, bend down and look closer so you can really see what it is." BAM! I flung the shovel full of dirt into his face with all my 5 year old might.

Crying. Tears. Tattling. Incrimination. Spanking. I didn't care though, I got my revenge. (later i would always be han solo to his luke skywalker and so on. in my guilt i always let him be who he wanted when we were playing)

Age 8. Before a closer school was built we had to ride the bust for a few years of elementary school. The bus stop was about two blocks away in your standard west coast suburban neighborhood. Well like any group of kids we had ones we like and ones we didn't at the bus stop.

My creative little kid mind at work decided the best thing to do would be to hide each morning, all of us who first got to the bus stop. Thus whoever showed up "late", would think they missed the bus and have to trudge back home to face their mom's wrath and then be driven to school. Of course when we were late we made sure to really search the area well, just to make sure the same prank wasn't being played back on us.

Age 10. My sister at the time had a good collection of some very popular, rare and expensive dolls. Being a good little Cub Scout I knew all sorts of knots. Oh, like the hangman's noose for one. Hmmmmm....... Alright, a quick trip to the garage is in order.
Rope. Hammer. Nails. Step ladder.

Pound the nails into the top of the door frame. Step two tie 4 nooses. Step three is to slide the four little dollies heads into the nooses. Now the final step, just like in soo many cartoons with buckets and water that I'd seen, to finely balance them on top of the door so that when she went into her bedroom and opened the door BAM, down fall her precious little dollies right in front of her face! Hung 'dead'.

Maniacal laugh. Wait till she saw us (myself and her other older brother, Spock) teaching her cat how to be a submarine.

Age 12-14. Fireworks. Hiding in the closet to jump out. Egging houses. Snow balling cars. Using scotch tape to hold the sprayer handle down at the sink, soaking who ever unknowingly walked up to get some water out of the sink.

Changing time on all the clocks in the house. Taking money out of my dad's wallet, throwing it out the window and then waiting a hour to go out into the yard and "find" money. You know, these sorts of things.

And due to the statue of limitations on pranks with family or friends there is none, I can't go into anything from age 15 onward.

Stories from my youth....

Which would you like to hear a story about and I'll write it up?

A. Buying my first motorcycle, age 16

B. My first concussion, age 10

C. Childhood pranks, ages 5-15

D. My horrible luck with pets, age 5-9

E. My favorite things growing up in the 70's and 80's.

Pick one in the comments and I promise to write about it!

I'm soooo old and slow.

Rode mnt bikes with dudes today 10 to 15 years younger than me. Needless to say I feel totally dead. It didn't used to be this way.....

Old. The fact I know people that I can hang out with who are that much younger than me also says..... I. Am. Old.

Then I had to trim hair in places I shouldn't today. Old.

And the very worst???????

I traded sleep for sex on Valentine's Day. Sorry Cupid......

So yeah, I'm feeling pretty freaking ancient today. Boo.

Let me see you do it in slow motion....

slomo from rowdy matt on Vimeo.

Uhhhhh, I like it like that!
(Just another day at the office)

Channel 17

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.