oh, it smells sooo good

i love the smell of surf wax, or napalm or bacon or flowers or water or french toast, in the morning. but only if it is sunny. the water in SD is cold enough as it is, why would a newb like me bother to surf in cruddy weather? that's not the california dream, 56 degree water with gray skies and booties to go with your wet suit!

so here it is!! my brand new surfboard!! 8' 2" of mini-long board fun. my plan is to average going twice or three times a month. i should be able to make that.

blacks, tourmoline, la jolla shores. see ya there! (honestly, i do go into the garage and enjoy the smell of my freshly waxed board)

11 of 21 aka t-shirt Borg

So I was putting my clothes away yesterday and I counted that I have 21 t-shirts of the cotton, casual variety. Not sports event t-shirts, not technical tees for exercise, just regular old t-shirts. 21 of them.

I don't know if that is a lot for a guy or just average or small. But what I really did notice is that 8 of them were black and if you add black and dark gray together then 11 of my 21 t-shirts are all basically the same.

And I don't even like black clothes. I live in San Diego, not NYC!

I'm gonna cull some of those black/gray t-shirts and add some color. It is spring time, I live near the ocean and I just need some more color vibrancy and variety.

you gee h. UGH (me whinning if you want to skip it)

i feel like my abdomen is distended or that soo many surgeries has made it impossible to have a flat stomach. i feel fat through my middle and too thin through my arms and legs. like an ugly human spider.

i feel like my face is starting to show my age and experience. and not in a good way. it's like all the connective tissue has gone away and i have a soft, saggy face with sun spots and wrinkles. and crooked teeth.

i'm not happy with how all my jeans and t-shirts fit right now. my dress clothes are nice and my shorts are good. but i'm between small and medium on tshirts so none of them fit me how i'd like. and i dont like how any of my jeans feel. i only had one pair i did like how they felt and they've been worn out totally and had to be thrown away after i bled all over them and couldn't get the stain out properly.

my haircut. ugh. you know it's not a good haircut when people say maybe you should get it cut again, or a different one or maybe buzz it off and start over. i had that feeling inside me as well but if other people do to, you know it is true.

to me, my fitness sucks right now too. i feel weak and fragile. i feel unable to get any strength or aerobic capacity back. i compare myself to how i was 2 years ago and i just don't and can't measure up. i haven't been to jiu jitsu for 3 weeks due to a stupid skin thing and that's totally not helping me feel good either.

i'd say i don't care, but that is not true or else i wouldn't whine about it in such a public place. face, body, hair, clothes, fitness. none of them do anything to help me have positive feelings right now.

maybe i'm the one that's body dysmorphic? my confidence in my physical self is at a low. low low. maybe i'm the one who is really a troglodite and not one of the eloi?

i got a fever, and the only medicine is...

more camping! i had a ton of fun camping this last weekend. i used to camp at least 4 or 5 times a summer from age 10 to 17. i miss it.






i need to go again, soon!

chairman of the board

well, now that i'm 'watertight' again and it's gonna be summer again..... it's time to get a new surf board.

thinking of an 8' egg, fun board or 8'6" mini long board........

me, march 2008, nicoya penninsula on the pacific coast, costa rica. i'd like to be this comfortable in head high waves again.

I'm rowdy Rowdy. I'm 'bout it 'bout.

What did you do this weekend? Run a CBP check station? Sleep under the stars? Shoot off guns and fireworks? Ride in the bed of a pick up truck? Crawl on your belly in the dirt? Squeeze through cracks in the earth? Cook over a fire? Drive 60mph down a dirt road? Eat a two pound breakfast burrito? See road runners and jack rabbits?



My friends and I, we did!!!!!!!!!!!

You know how it goes....

"Go big or go home." Or also in less eloquent terms, "Aint no half steppin'."

$1,249 in 3 easy installments I am now signed up for Kaplan's GRE prep course that lasts a month.

If I don't get into physician assistant school this time, I never will. I'll do that course and get a killer score on the GRE.

On my own I am studying microbiology to be prepared for my summer course in it. Then in the fall I will take a semester of anatomy and physiology. PPPPPPPPossibly biochemistry at the same time.

So I have a BS in Radiologic Science. I have over 2,000 hours of patient care. I took the EMT course and passed. I will have good letters of recommendation. I will have recently shown I can do well in science classes. I interview better than any hollywood star. I'm going to shadow some PA's I know too.

I mean really, if it doesn't happen this time it just really isn't meant to be, 'cause I am going into it as prepared as I can!