Making It.

In my shooting competitions the top skill classification is called "Grand Master" (GM). To achieve this ranking you have to shoot 6 different skill tests with a score within 5% of the very best. In other words you need to be 95th percentile of everyone who is doing it. By the membership numbers that is about 2% of the people who compete. More people have summitted Mt Everest.

I usually shoot one or two of these skill tests, called classifiers, per month year round. And to make it a little harder they don't just take your 6 best of all time but only your 6 best of your most recent ones. Looking at my history for example you'll see that I've shot more than one 100% level classifier but they were long enough ago they don't count to my current classification percentage. (I'm paraphrasing this as it's a little more complex that how I describe)

I've always had the goal of making GM in the back of my mind. And now I get this tingling feeling I'm in another window of possibility to do it. This Saturday my local club is doing a classifier I know I can do 100% on. The following week in Tulsa they are doing 4 classifiers in one match giving me a total of 5 tries in just 2 weeks. If I can get 3-100$ runs in or 4 at 97% in I would make GM in Production. Cool!!!!!

The question is do I go for it in one concerted effort or let it happen more gradually? Am I ready for the added pressures and expectations of having a GM ranking?

Money and Medicine

I still think I made more working at the hospital than I've paid to one.... No way I've paid more than that out of my own pocket. I'm sure the insurance company feels a little differently though! What a rough business.

Beyond that, here is an email for an expensive out of pocket blood test I had with the result of remission to mild. That is good news! I can accept that on a cold Tuesday morning.

I know it, but it's hard to live it.

"It will all work out", isn't the same thing as "It will be easy."

Henry

Henry is a word like yuppie. High earner not rich yet. What most people don't realize is there is a huge difference between being rich and having a high income.

Doctors who are doing great make over 500,000 dollars a year. Any decent lawyer makes 200,000 a year. I made over 100,000 a year just as nuclear medicine technologist and as a radiation safety officer. Rock stars, professional athletes and movie stars now we're talking about millions of dollars a year at the top.

But every dollar any of those people earn is for something they did. A surgery, a case, a performance. A wage for for a service, even if it is a very high wage. But that doesn't make you rich.

You know what rich is? Rich is having something else make money for you. Rich is receiving income unrelated to your physical performance. Rich is capital gains. Rich is commercial or residential rental property income. Rich is having the employees of your chain of restaurants or gas stations making money for you.

Now, it would be foolish to argue that having a high income isn't nice or that it doesn't allow you a certain liberty in choices versus someone making 18 thousand a year. But understand being truly rich rich is a different thing. And then there is a whole other level of wealth that's generational. Money that lasts multiple lifetimes..... wow.

Costs

When making a purchasing decision economists say we gauge how much money to spend by using two methods of thinking, relative cost and opportunity cost. Researchers say that most of us use relative cost when deciding how much money to spend on an item or service.
"Well if we're gonna spend 900 on new dryer why not 1,200 and get the super nice one?" Normally it is comparing one thing to another and convincing yourself that spending more is worth it, relative to the amount you're spending or to an alternative but similar item. Usually you find a way to rationalize an up-sell, either from a salesman or from within yourself.

More rarely they say do we gauge things from the idea of an opportunity cost. Relative is a 'this-vs-that' kind of question while opportunity asks you, "what instead of this altogether?" I'm feeling a little melancholy and broke today, which has me thinking opportunity costs of the thing(s) I spend the most money on. What did I give up by spending money on X instead of Y?

In my personal example my number one thing would have to be money spent in relation to shooting. Now with no sponsorship, no industry job, no regular teaching the idea of cost comes to mind. This inward look isn't helped by the fact that I have no big matches in sight, no plans, nothing but practice and the goal of "getting better". Which always leads me to a what's it all worth kind of navel gazing. More of a sigh than sorrow.

Real numbers, I spend about a low of $300 a month on shooting competitions to a high of $1,800 depending on the travel and matches I'm attending. A low month would be $80 in match fees, $100 in gasoline, $100 in ammo. A high month would be $300 in match fees, $200 in ammo, $700 in plane ticket, $300 in hotel, $200 in rental car and $100 in misc. if you figure a year to be 6 big months and 6 small months that is 12,600 dollars. Throw in a new gun and the required equipment and that adds another 2 grand easy. And I'm not sure my ammo component costs are accurately figured into these figures either, but that's OK. Fifteen thousand a year. Pretty cheap to chase a dream, right? Oh, there is that relative cost thinking again!

Without looking at time and emotional involvement and using the idea of opportunity cost is there something I'd rather have entirely in the place of a year of competitive shooting at a highly involved level? Fifteen smackers, hmmmm, to think to think. That's a nice motorcycle. I could have a pretty good adventure bike for that money. A two week first class vacation can be had for 15 grand as well. An extra 15 grand a year into savings? An extra thousand dollars a month on the principle of the house loan? Getting that burst blood vessel lasered off the end of my nose? I mean really, that's all I can think of; trips, motorcycles, savings or paying on the house loan. Those are the things I feel I'm giving up instead.

What else would I rather have or do with that money? Asking me right now I'm not sure how I'd answer. Ask me when I make GM or have a division trophy in my hand and I know the answer. Not sure what Super D thinks.....

Tiempo, horas y segundos.

I'm going to Texas for a week at Thanksgiving. I have family coming for Christmas for a week. And then I want to move out of the state by like May or June. All these things are on the books.

On the other hand I feel I need a part time job. What are the chances of getting a part time job that lets me keep my holiday plans and won't look bad when I leave another job after less than a year?????????????

Like the edge of torn, wet paper

My vision is definitely deteriorating more rapidly than I'd ever imagined. I'm not gonna go blind anytime soon but my loss of visual acuity is severe and hasn't stopped getting worse once it started just 4 years ago. Glasses of course are and have been the answer. That's not what gives me pause though, just the fact my vision hasn't leveled off. Just worse and worse year after year.

Reflect on the pause button for a second. Cassettes, cd, dvd, digital they all have a pause button. An indeterminate time of stoppage but that was user controlled and then you jumped right back in where you left off. So to say life is on pause I think would be a misnomer. I don't feel in control of the time frame and I'm not quite sure where in my own personal song I'm going to be jumping back in. Feels more like shuffle instead.

Career restart and change is tied to the timing and money of both selling this house and moving to a new place. This is not the time to spend 10 grand on career re-entry education. (Radiation Safety if you're wondering. Classes at Oak Ridge) Feeling all Joseph Heller, the house has to be sold and a move made to Texas most likely and then I can go get re-certified and then I can go get a new job. OK, not a catch-22 but more like a Rube Goldburg contraption. The iron has to move the bowling ball has to knock of the domino has to set the mouse trap for this to all work out right.

The timing is very rough. Maybe get the house up for sale in March or April to get the timing right for a family buyer and the school year. Then move to Texas hopefully in May or June. With a job already in place. Then work on my RSO job stuff.

Wow, notice how shooting wasn't mentioned anywhere in there? The ROI of it all is driving me crazy right now. I love doing it, I love the travel, I love the pressure of big matches. (not really into locals, as a "just for fun" thing)But I want more out of it than personal satisfaction and I struggle with making that happen through my sponsorship, videos and writing gigs. IDK....

Gulp. Gag. Word vomit. Spittle. Gasp.