Zion National Park

First two days of the trip so far. Yellowstone is next.

My new camera

Here are some test pics I took yesterday trying to work with my new camera. I gotta say, I do enjoy the melding or artistic and technical in taking great photos. These are not great, but I am learning. Practicing. Growing.

Something odd this way comes.

But not wicked, unless you mean it in an 80 skater/surfer vernacular way, then yes something "wicked" this way comes.

Possibly.

1. I still am extremely interested in going to graduate school in Israel for a year, for a MA in Diplomacy Studies and Security. And to begin doing something about it, not just dreaming, I have enrolled in a Hebrew class here locally. While the program I am interested in is taught in English, if you're going to live somewhere you better speak the language.

With this I'll of had formal education in French, Spanish and Hebrew. With on the fly, in the moment learning of Arabic, Japanese and Russian.

2. I was vaguely offered a job in maritime security. Ride on a cargo ship and shoot at pirates. Not sure about it. Part of me is very drawn to this and the other part not so much. I'm conflicted. The length of the contract is the biggest unanswered question I have.

3. My neighbor who had to move to Cambodia suddenly for a family member has offered me multiple jobs there in Phnom Penh. The main one as a radio host at his brother's radio station. Evidently they are in great need of a foreign announcer. He even said I could live with him for virtually free.

What an odd grouping of offers and possibilities that have come my way recently. Again, harking back to my childhood, if this were a Choose Your Own Adventure book, which would or should I choose? One, two or three????

Time. Space.

My grandmother grew up in rural Idaho. Her family did not have indoor plumbing until after she graduated from high school. All of her food was cooked on a wood stove. They did have indoor electricity though.

I can not imagine a life lived, for decades no less, with no indoor plumbing and having to cook all of my food over a fire essentially. Wow.

Talking with one of my friends he mentioned how his grandparents must have felt when they saw their first airplane. They lived in rural India under similar circumstances. To still be collecting firewood each day and then for the first time see human being flying through the sky. Wow.

From the book "Turning's Cathedral" by George Dyson: The fundamental, indivisible unit of information is the bit. The fundamental, indivisible unit of digital computation is the transformation of bit between its two possible forms of existence: as structure (memory) or as sequence (code). (it is a very thinking heavy book, but if you're interested in how computers and nuclear weapons were developed hand in hand, check it out!)

I didn't own a computer until 1996, my freshman year of college. Some hand me down from my dad's office where it took 20 floppy discs to load Windows onto it. Needless to say I can remember an educational period before computers. I never had to turn in a paper in high school that was typed and printed from a computer. They were all hand written. Heck I even tried a computer programming class in high school and it was in Basic. Essentially writing simple mathematical formulas to solve word problems.

I dropped out.

My recent birthday and reading the aforementioned book have made me somewhat nostalgic. Reminiscing on my growing up this makes me wonder what things I have seen happen in my life that someone now takes totally for granted.

In no particular order or significance are I remember a time before....

-the internet
-diet coke
-compact discs
-laptops
-ABS on cars
-car seat and seatbelt laws
-atari
-debit cards
-digital cameras
-grocery store self check out

Almost everything people take for granted now that developed in my lifetime is the result of the shift from an analog life to a digital life. A world where numbers DO something rather than just MEAN something.

(______)1-derful

I am (something)1-derful today. Yes, it's my birthday today and I officially enter a new decade of life. Wow. Here is hoping it is one of the best yet for me. (not like i have soo many)

And now for prezzies! Super D gifted me with an amazing camera set up! A new Nikon D7000 and three lenses. Wow. This thing is awesome. And I really enjoy the mix of creativity and technical ability in photography. It is a fun thing! I haven't really got into photo editing and creating stuff with photoshop as I'm still learning and growing. But I love it. The only excuse for a bad picture now should be "me".

D from Texas is such a unique gift giver! She has given me such cool, interesting gifts over the years. Some of my coolest old monster movie things have come from her. She must really browse etsy to find these things. And I greatly appreciate it. But this year she went big! Wow, who has a sister in law like this?

I now am the proud owner of an iron sculpture of my name, Rowdy, about 3 feet wide and almost 1 foot tall!! My rowdyroom, aka the garage is sooooo much more "me" now with this new addition. Thank you D.

Today's plan is to just chill and rest for a bit. Then eat a peanut buster parfait from DQ for lunch. After that head to La Jolla Shores to hopefully snorkel with sharks. Then a nice dinner out at Shogun Kobe.(a benihanas style place)

Even though I despise my chronological age I am thankful I am fit, healthy and able to have all this fun today.

To all the others born today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

What price for a dream?

When I was 16 I wanted a Honda VTR 250 Interceptor as my first motorcycle. As a compromise to keep me from most likely running away to join some fictional motorcycle circus I thought existed in my mind, my parents and I compromised on a Yamaha YSR 50.

I found a new one for a great price and my dad and I drove the 4 hours to go pick it up. I was sooo happy. I loved that first motorcycle and I still do. But like anything under appreciated by the masses at the time they now have become rare, cool and collectible. It also doesn't help that they were used up like cheap disposable motorcycles for tons of new racers.

What I bought for $1,000 back in the day now is $2,500 for a good condition, stock one. Heck, I just found one on CL up in Loma Linda. At what price do you give in to your childhood dreams and nostalgia? Is $2,500 a cheap dream or an expensive one? (later in life I did buy a VTR250 and a FZR400, the motorcycles I most wanted as a kid. I outgrew the VTR and the FZR stranded me multiple times with electrical gremlins so they both had to go)

(picture from the actual ad and exactly how mine looked back in high school)

I've also lately been dreaming about graduate school in Israel. Trying to figure it out. But at what price do I chase that dream? I was prepared to move away from family for two years for PA school. But this is a foreign country. And not the same level of guaranteed employment either. When I went to Iraq for work the plan was the same thing and I feel like I failed there. This would be redemptive.

At what price do you follow a dream? At the expense of your family? Hobbies? Life savings? I'm not sure I know the answer to that or could come up with it on my own.................

I feel!

I feel soooo, just....., incredibly alive. Or normal. Or healthy. I just am abuzz in a way I haven't felt in a long time. And it is nice. Could it be my Crohns is truly in remission? Could it be endorphins from exercise? Could it be opening my birthday presents a day early? All of the above and more?

I've been moved to tears with joy today and that is a powerful feeling.

To celebrate, here are some goofy pictures of me. =) Try not to smile.

The target's view.........

What the targets see when I step up to the line.

IDPA match. CDP-SS. from rowdy matt on Vimeo.

When Are You Due? The Male Verson of.....

What is possibly the most offensive question you can ask a woman? "When are you due?", when they are not pregnant. A close second and much related is, "Have you put on some weight?" Ask these questions at your own peril men.

There is what I have found to be somewhat of a male equivalency, "Is that gray in your beard/hair?"

I thought I was dressed pretty sharply today, new hair style and such. I got a lot of great comments about how I looked today.

But...................

Then from some guys I got the, "Is that gray in your beard? Man, you must be old," kind of thing. Doesn't matter how many other great compliments I received, it was the ones that pointedly made me 'old' that just made me bristle inside.

Female readers, never mention a man's gray hair.

I think this was part of my past week's attitude smack down. My shooting coach told me the best thing to come of me getting beat so badly was that in his opinion I was "getting a little to big for my britches" and that I needed to be taken down a peg.

Which was true. I am a big fish in a small pond here in southern California. But I am not a big fish in the national sized pond and I needed to be put in check.

But of course I won my division this Saturday hahaha. And beat someone I've never beaten before in the overall results. And did it all with feeling I was shooting in my limits and easily. Never felt pressed or anything. The joke was that since I had my GoPro at the local match as the reason I did better. As my fellow competitors all think I'm a narcicist. Hahahaha. So you'll be seeing that video soon. It's not too exciting though as the camera is focused on me the whole time, for me to review my movement and technique and such.

I've been stung by a stingray.

I've been stung by a stingray at Scripps Pier coming in from surfing. Boy did it freaking hurt! As bad as the times I've broken my ankle to tell the truth. Shuffle people, shuffle!

While that may have been a low point in the ocean for me, today I had a high point. Or two! Couple of sea lions decided they wanted to make friends with me while snorkeling in La Jolla Cove. And of course I got pictures and video, duh!

I'm sure my old friend Sammy the Safety Seal told them all about me, so I'm in their good graces. (Sammy the Safety Seal was a program in elementary school where I grew up to teach kids not to play in irrigation canals lest they die.)

As you can imagine it is pretty cool to be out in the ocean and having a mammal your size come and check you out. I saw dolphins off in the distance as I entered the water but by the time I swam to that area they were gone. Still, this was pretty cool and I am going back again soon!

Change

I'm really craving change. Having traveled the world, lived in many different states, changing jobs often and having varied hobbies I've just seen soooo much that it is hard to settle for routine. Same ol' same ol' for year after year.

So I shaved my head today and am going to grow a beard. Just to do something totally radically different with my personal appearance. I don't care if most people thing I look less attractive with a shaved head. I don't care if it makes me look older. I don't care if my beard might have some gray in it and hide my strong jaw line. I just wanna do something different and changing hair is a great active/passive way to do that.

What's the difference between a good haircut and a bad one? 6 weeks.

And seriously trying to figure out the whole graduate school in Israel thing as a possibility. If you're a long term reader or know me in real life you know how I can be when I want to do something off the wall. It gets into me and I don't let it go until I'm forced to. Tenacious. ;) I mean, I went to Iraq with the idea of doing something for a year and using it to build life afterwards. This would be a better way and still keep me in that part of the world.

Now for you who like to live vicariously through me and for me by writing it down it also soothes the "change beast" inside me, here are some things I have coming up in my rowdy Rowdy life.

May 15, 16. Working a nuclear medicine job.
May 17. Substitute teaching my bootcamp class.
May 18. Spring Fest for Allied Gardens. Shooting competition.

May 21. My birthday. So good food and presents.
May 25. Shooting competition.
May 26-June 3. Road trip to Zion, Bryce, Arches, Yellowstone. Natural Park extravaganza! Western state's beauty!

June 4-9. Snorkeling and lounging around trip to Cozumel, Mexico.
June 21, 22. World Steel Challenge Championship up in northern LA (Piru).

July. Nine day mountain biking road trip to Utah and Colorado. Also visit family. And Jake.

August. ?

September. IDPA National Championships in Tulsa Oklahoma.

October. WAshington DC trip for museums. Possible side trip to Porsche Driving School in Alabama.

Yeah, that's a good start.

Hmmmmm, a huge change would be nice.

I'm researching graduate programs in Israel. Front runner is a Masters program at Tel Aviv University in Security Studies & Diplomacy.

-Taught in English
-One year program
-$17,000 in tuition for the program
-location, location, location

If you were sitting next to me you would hear the wheels spinning making a noise similar to the gear driven cams of a racing motorcycle engine. I was willing to give up a year of my life in Iraq for something to move me forward in life and I'm thinking is maybe the best idea...

I could sell my truck, my two motorcycles, most of my guns and pay for the year almost completely if I lived super cheap. And come out on the other end with something to make a career out of, to use my brain and my talents.

A dream come true in other words.......

Vroom Vroom Vroom

Photo set I took at the super cool, oh man I had to visit it twice in one weekend, motorsports museum at Barber in Birmingham Alabama.

Cover your keyboard motorheads and drool on it HERE!!

Squeel like a pig. -OR- Success is the worst teacher.

I've had some shooting success lately in competition. And I was pretty vocal about it as well, prideful. Well we all know what comes after pride, the fall. And I got the smack down big time in Alabama this last weekend. Not quite Deliverance level but it felt like it in the moment and losing is very hard for me to accept.

And lose is what I did. I was 12th of the 14 experts and far off the front of the pack. The lower the score the better and my class winner had a 191. I shot a 260. Yeah.... Actually the top 5 in my expert division would have been on the podium in master, the highest skill classification. The stages were not super challenging but the guys shooting were shooting well. Very well.

So while I may occasionally be a big fish in the small shooting pond of San Diego, I now have a better idea of what it takes at a national level to be competitive. I feel like I was the best Lithuanian basketball player at the Olympics who then had to play the Dream Team.

More practice. More discipline. More refining. Less back patting. Less talking. Less travel across country, except for the National Championships which I get to apply to tomorrow!



*This was also my first trip being somewhat sponsored or supported. So the lack of results especially stung as I felt I had a duty or obligation to provide a result for the money being spent on me. Both from my family and my supporters. Again, just motivation to do better.

Action is the best response to misfortune!!
Some sleep and dream grand dreams, others awake and start working.

Dual. Sport.

One of my motorcycles is what is now called a 'dual sport'. Basically a motorcycle you can ride in the dirt and on the pavement, legally. Some try to do both just OK while others are much better at one side of the equation than the other. My Honda seems to be set up fairly close to the middle. Pretty good at either dirt or street but not superb at one to the detriment of the other.

So I spent 8 hours getting car sick in the back seat of a truck, sleeping in my sleeping bag and eating not one regular, cooked, normal meal for three days so that I could do an epic dual sport ride, originally planned from St George Utah to the north rim of the Grand Canyon.

Monday morning found us under some bad weather none of us packed appropriate clothing for, so with a quick consultation of maps and forcasts we picked a new route that would hopefully take us out of most of the bad weather and yet still be a fun ride. We only got lost a few times but we had 140 miles of super fast dirt roads, rock gardens, technical climbs, ruts, high desert, creek crosings, mountain passes, rain, wind, dust and almost everything else other than jumps. (boo, i like small jumps)

Varied would be the best word to sum up all aspects of the ride, from the bikes ridden to skill levels to the people on the ride. Heck we even had some jeeps following us carrying some extra gas and food. Which 4 of us ended up needing!! The only thing the support vehicles were missing was a hitch hauler, left it at the house, to bring out a bike if it stopped running.

A great time even without seeing the Grand Canyon. And now for some mediocre pictures.

Sleep, perchance to dream.

Or as Bartleby the Scrivener would say, "I would prefer not to.", in regards to my dreaming. I've been officially diagnosed by a Stanford trained sleep specialist with Nightmare Disorder.

As a child I don't think I had any more or less nightmares. It wasn't until the past 10 years that I developed some serious sleep issues, mainly that I can only sleep about 45 minutes before fully awaking. Also the number of nightmares that woke me yelling, panting and frightened really increased. Going to bed was not a pleasant thing for me as I barely slept and would only be in a sleep state that allowed dreaming/nightmares.

You're not supposed to dream within minutes of falling asleep and continue to do so until you wake up. You're not supposed to wake up screaming, sweating and in fear. I do all of these things and without medication do them on about 5 to 6 hours of "sleep" per night.

My nightmares follow two main themes. One is that someone or something I care about is under some sort of attack or is in danger. I am helpless to prevent some sort of eventual tragedy and must witness it fully. Or more commonly I am being persued by monsters, gangsters, criminals**, terrorists, evil ghosts or whatever and I'm giving a super human effort to escape and evade them but then I fail. For any number of reasons. And I am captured, killed, succumb or whatever.

You can see yourself die in your dreams. I've done it numerous times.

Iraq did not give me PTSD, though there may be a small influence.
I don't consume caffiene regularly, if actually only rarely and never in the evening.
I don't have a tv in my bedroom.
I do exercise more than the average person.
I control my light and sound exposure in my bedroom, with very little of either at night.

Thankfully with medication I can sleep a normal night. Nights I decide to skip it are just horrible. Last night was one of those nights. I didn't take my pill and suffered for it.

They say everyone has trouble sleeping or is tired.... but I dare them to take a nap on my pillow.

**To provide some humor, one dream I had recurringly was that an evil, intergalactic criminal named Nightwing and I were battling. Like I was some sort of 50's sci-fi astronaut private eye or something. Strageness I know! And of course he was always hurting my family or killing me or scores of innocent people in my dreams. I almost want to say "our dreams" as he really felt like such a separate individual and we were sharing my dreamed experience.

Well what should I see a few weeks ago when I was in Austin Texas??!! A plaque entitled "Nightwing" and devoted to the bats that live under the bridges of downtown Austin and come out by the thousands each night at sundown. Thankfully it just made me laugh and I got a few pictures. But I did take 1.5 times my normal dosage that night, just in case.

Some things I just can't resist.

There are some things I just can't resist. Things like not proof reading my blog entries. Ellipsis. Oh, how I love to use them.... Alliteration is also another. Brunettes. Motorcycles. You know, the regular stuff.

So.... today it seemed as if all my day was spent dealing with double yous. Dubyas. W. W. W.

Weather. It was windy and warm today when I went out for shooting practice. 9am and it was already 95 degrees and blowing my target stands over every few minutes. I may never regret a work out or practice session, but I sure would have picked different weather.

Work I tell you, it felt like work.

Weirdo. I hate to say it, but yeah, I am one of those weirdos who can go to a movie alone. In the middle of the day. To a Bollywood movie. Alone. Weirdo.

And now writing amnesia has set in and I can't remember the remainder of my W items from the days wanderings. Rest assured, relax and resign yourself to reading again at a later date.

Now it's off to chow down at a food truck gathering in Mission Valley for dinner and then about an hours worth of cleaning as tomorrow I'll be up in the LA area competing all dang day.

Enjoy this funny picture if you haven't enjoyed my post:

Disneyland for Adults, Texas Style

Four of the ten days I spent in Texas were at the Texas Tornado Boot Camp. A camp to get your skills at riding a motorcycle better, whether beginner or expert. Or like me if you're somewhere in between.

Four days of excellent food, more riding than your body can handle, cool new people, great instructors, good physical facilities and just a super atmosphere for fun.

A typical day went like this:
8am: breakfast, hot or cold, meeting
9am-12 noon: non stop motorcycle riding and drills. all focused on what you need to get better.
Noon-2pm: sandwiches and all the Monster you can drink. plus shooting guns and possibly blowing stuff up. from .22 pistols to .50bmg sniper rifles!
2pm-6pm: more riding. more drills. free riding on any track.
6:30pm: Super Pole! a mini race to see how you're progressing. against yourself or others if you want.
7:30pm: another home cooked meal, all you could eat.
9pm-11pm: more riding if you want. ping pong. pool. bon fires. beer drinking. or nursing your sore muscles.




See what I mean? Repeat this day after day for 4 days and it really is like a Rowdy style Disneyland. Loved it!!