panic! at the rowdisco

I think I had an honest to goodness full on panic attack today about my surgical procedure Friday.

My breathing was shallow and rapid. I couldn't focus my vision at all. All of the muscles in my body, especially my legs were twitching and vibrating. Nervous and high strung in the extreme.

Worse than the times people have shot at me trying to kill me.

I took some slow deep breathes. I thought about what was triggering it. I focused my attention on the now, bringing my mind and body to the present. I did some quick pushups and stretching. Reaffirming to myself I am fine currently, that it is all in my mind. I am OK.

It slowly faded away rather than build up to a point I was unable to function, which I felt like could honestly happen. I'll see if this works when I come face to face with it Friday morning.......

**I don't care that as a man you're not supposed to show fear. It was a feeling and it was real. I have no shame in that. Better to acknowledge what is wrong and attack it than try to be 'manly' and avoid it.**