life

I had a really close friend years ago, AD. We shared everything and knew soo much about each other. It really was a natural bond. Eventually there was a falling out and our friendship, based on certain in retrospect not worthwhile things, ended.

AD had a girlfriend early in life when he was hopeful, vibrant and optomistic. Youth and love. Until the words came, "I have cancer" from her. She died in his prescence in her early 20's.

This experience lead AD to believe that all human existence will end in tragedy, so what does living really matter? Why bother with a moral compass? Everything is situational, relative and probably driven by chance anyways.

Developing those attitudes defined him and drove him in his relationships with women, drugs, extreme sports, jail, music and everything else that happened in a wild, vibrant and ultimately sad life.

I know another person with a similar story. Like all intensely personal people the internet was a boon to the dating and flirting side of his life.

He meet a girl online. The emailed non stop, IMing till late in the evening. Then the constant phone calls. Sending gift packages back and forth. The heady lovey dovey stuff of 'what could be'.

They were both attractive, compatible in religion and politics and with a small age difference.

Geography seperated it them, but it could be overcome. Plans were being made for jobs, houses, rings. A 3 year long distance relationship.

And then the words came from her, "I have cancer." Her family shut him out. An ex came back into the picture who lived closer.

Then she died. In her 20s from ovarian cancer.

But this guy, he seemed to take it differently. The stages of grief were tempered, lessened. He mused on God, mercy, medicine, fairness, love, lonliness. So many unanswered questions.

But he found comfort. In faith and hope and trust. The natural beauty of life, kindness to others. The promise of other relationships. Her transition from a painful mortality to an eternal rest.

Horrible things happen in life, even to those who seemingly on the outside are blessed. The difference between my friend AD and the other person is in how they sought comfort and explanation. In how they choose to react.

What will your choice be?