hate sometimes isn't a strong enough word

Little Rad Riding Rowdy

Is it still fasting if I can't eat?

If you are a new or casual reader you might not know this, but I am not supposed to be eating or drinking anything at all right now. This is part of the process in healing a complication from bowel surgery last year. I get "all I need" through an i.v. each night, so I'll live but it is not fun. This is supposed to cease in October.

My physical activity level is also supposed to be reduced at this time, as I receive a set amount of calories and hydration. Doing too much of anything would put me at a deficit or mess up my i.v. line. Basically the rules are don't sleep on my left side, don't lift more than 10 pounds and don't do anything to the level of causing me to sweat.

No eating, no drinking, no doing anything. Sounds like worse than jail but without the threat of rape. Detainees at Gitmo potentially do more than I do.

As part of my spiritual development I fast for two meals the first Sunday of each month. I believe there is a spiritual world and a physical world and that we as human beings reside in both. By fasting I subjugate my physical self to my spiritual self.

Normally on this day going without food from 7am till 3pm can be moderately challenging. But as I haven't really eaten in 21 days, fasting today was a non issue.

I still sometimes have considerable hunger pangs though. Yeah, my first dentist as a kid was Dr. Pang and pang is back in my life again. I always thought it was hunger 'pain' but in my boredom and researching whether this feeling would ever go away, I learned the correct term is hunger 'pang'.

They say, those horrible know it all "theys", that a person's physiological desire for food should go away and that what is in my i.v. sustenance has enough fat and protein for you to feel satisfied.

They're WRONG. I'm suffering horribly from what is technically called hedonistic hunger. My stomach doesn't growl or feel knotted up, but my mind races to, latches on and is often obsessed beyond my control with food.

Oddly enough it is not sugar that I want but savory things. Meat. Spicy stuff. Things you chew with a multitude of flavors. Complex food with textures, aromas.

May 21st makes me a Gemini, though I don't hold much into astrology. But my life and much of what happens it does seem to be a dual nature. Is it fasting if I can't eat? Are they hunger pains or pangs?

Looking at the stats on my Youtube channel today I saw this, Total Upload Views:71,609

Over seventy freaking thousand views of my videos in the past 4 years. Unbelievable!

My Youtube channel

DaVinci not Bach

While a majority of my family has some sort of natural musical talent, I did not inherit any of it. My creative and artistic side has come out more naturally in drawing, writing, paint and things like that. Not music. I could sculpt marble sooner than learn a musical instrument. Hmmmm.... that's a thought.

A friend was over yesterday and was playing my guitar, the one I'm going to sell as I just don't enjoy the learning process like I thought I would. He was chiding me for not using it and I explained that I would just rather be doing other things, it hasn't sparked in me. Mentally I thought learning the guitar would be awesome, but physically I can't stand it.

On a positive note, note hahaha, I have earned a greater appreciation for the people who can do things musically now.

So when it came time for me to express myself in the past few days I decided to paint my Leatt brace a custom color. Most of the models come in black only and a very few in white. So I decided on chrome. You know it! Here are some pics of the process. I think it turned out great and I have a one of a kind Leatt now.





Hard to see in these low-res pictures, but I'm wearing the finished product.




Know anyone that wants to buy a guitar and amp? $500.

The latest and greatest

Pinnacle Ultimate HD

I did no riding in this one, just filming and editing.


Windows Live Movie Maker

Riding, filming, editing, shuttle driver. I did it all.

Turn your hobby into a job they say.....

My latest enjoyment has come from filming and editing videos, primarily the mountain bike ones I've made. A quick job search of entry level video editing positions yielded openings.

Cool!

But there is a catch. There is always a catch.... The only two industries I've found hiring entry level positions are for editing gay porn or creating commercials for medical marijuana collectives.

So the search begins again....