Aluminum Session 88
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
I had the same dream 4 times last night.... Does that mean something??
It was odd and depressing. If my life went how the dream did I don't know what life would be like. Not really discussing the particulars I am sure it is hard for you to understand.
But now I have this weird, depressed, out of sorts feeling that is something I've never felt. The dream did not make me happy.
Hopefully I can forget it and replace it with some other memory. Real or imagined.
It was odd and depressing. If my life went how the dream did I don't know what life would be like. Not really discussing the particulars I am sure it is hard for you to understand.
But now I have this weird, depressed, out of sorts feeling that is something I've never felt. The dream did not make me happy.
Hopefully I can forget it and replace it with some other memory. Real or imagined.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
A second fistula has opened while on vacation. They are both draining more than they have in months.
I get back home Monday the 8th. Then I should be in the hospital the following Monday through Thursday. This will be the time to start my line and get me going on TPN and then set up to go home with it.
Basically I am getting a super fancy IV line that will go through my arm or neck to almost my heart. It has to be/stay very clean and needs special care.
TPN is a liquid that goes through it containing all the water, fat, protein and carbohydrates I should need to survive. As I will be NPO, meaning I won't be able to eat anything for about two months.
If that works, cool. If not, another major surgery. My HMO is following standard of care, so I have nothing to complain about. Just gonna go through the process. I am thankful for what I have and try not to think about spending two months under what amounts to house arrest.
Please come visit me. In either the hospital or at home.
I get back home Monday the 8th. Then I should be in the hospital the following Monday through Thursday. This will be the time to start my line and get me going on TPN and then set up to go home with it.
Basically I am getting a super fancy IV line that will go through my arm or neck to almost my heart. It has to be/stay very clean and needs special care.
TPN is a liquid that goes through it containing all the water, fat, protein and carbohydrates I should need to survive. As I will be NPO, meaning I won't be able to eat anything for about two months.
If that works, cool. If not, another major surgery. My HMO is following standard of care, so I have nothing to complain about. Just gonna go through the process. I am thankful for what I have and try not to think about spending two months under what amounts to house arrest.
Please come visit me. In either the hospital or at home.
Cocaine is a helluva drug-Rick James
Now I've never done coke, but I do know that adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin and such are addictive. I love to feel them coursing through me. Crossing synapses. Flooding my brain and body with "feel good!"
I've been totally unable to do jiu jitsu for months, so I have channeled that desire into down hill mountain biking.
Watch and tell me you don't feel it too.....
I've been totally unable to do jiu jitsu for months, so I have channeled that desire into down hill mountain biking.
Watch and tell me you don't feel it too.....
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