All Things Rowdy

A neighbor is forcing me to get stronger. We lift weights once a week together. Squat, bench, clean and press, and then one other of whatever we feel. 

As a 12 to 15 year old I really enjoyed making model airplanes. My health would keep me from being a pilot so this was how I stayed close to and involved with military aviation.  But my craftsmanship at that age was pretty bad, even corrected for my age, experience and tools. Worse though I was incredibly impatient. From purchase to done was usually one day, sometimes 2 and never more than 3 days. A year and an half ago I wanted a new, indoor hobby. Something creative. After much thought I explored returning to model airplanes. Wow, have things changed in kits, materials and techniques! Of course I've also gone "full rowdy" and want to compete and spent tons of money and time trying to improve my finished products. And I'm super enjoying it, even if I'm not as speedy as I was before.

The oldest son of my only brother took his own life on the 12th. He was 20 years old. I've seen people in war. I've seen people in their last seconds of life in the hospital. I've seen relationships fail. I've seen bankruptcy. I've seen many lives as they're changed in an instant but not a single one produced the type of anguish seen in parents losing a child in this manner. Treat others as you would like to be treated, you never know what they are going or have gone through.

"Be a thermostat, not a thermometer." Which of these devices are you? They both represent something factual, convey information and can change but what are their real differences? And do they matter? A thermometer tells you what the temperature is, reporting an external condition. As that changes the thermometer changes, influenced by outside forces. A thermostat tells you what the temperature should be, reporting a desired condition. The thermostat controls the forces external to it to yield the desired condition. When your life is uncomfortable and you are dealing with its "bad weather", are you a thermometer or thermostat? Do ever changing, external forces change you? Or do you set the temperature and work to influence things to bring them closer to you? Advice my mother repeatedly gave me growing up was, "You can control your emotions. You are in charge of how you decide to react to things and your feelings. No one person or event should force you ...

I like competition. I like the reason and meaning it gives to an activity. I like the added pressure to perform. If I lose I learn a lesson. If I win I celebrate. There is just a complexity to it that I find mentally and physically enjoyable. In my life I've competed at things recreationally or socially but also "for real". What's the difference? Social or recreation competition is between friends or family, is ad hoc, has no larger organization behind it and likely didn't cost much money to make possible. Examples would be board and video games, who can do the most push ups, local 5k races, most things that are "I bet you..." or "Let's see who can...". Those sorts of things. While the "for real" type of competition is against others trained in the same thing, is scheduled, has a larger organization involved and likely cost some money to be involved. School sports, sports leagues, things with a ranking system are good examples...

I am going to delete my Fb account. Again. I am going to delete my three gmail accounts and create one singular one for all things. I am going to delete my PayPal. I am going to delete my separate online banking account. I'm tired of the fraud. I'm tired of so many internet things taking my time. Less entanglements. Less stress. More choice and control on my end.

If I don't get a slot for the IPSC World Shoot this year, I think I am done with shooting competitively. Why? There are many reasons but there are a few that really seem to make sense. One, I'm just tired and disinterested in something I've already done for 7 years. Switching divisions doesn't switch the game, money or time component. It's just playing Monopoly with the iron instead of the dog. The travel for matches is no longer exciting. The amount one has to train each day to be a good Master on the national level is beyond what I want to do anymore. Everything about it is less interesting to me now. (But going to an international match to represent the USA in competition would totally change that dynamic. But just to shoot locals? Eh.... don't care.) Secondly, competitive shooting after a while and certain skill level doesn't give you much back in return. The act of shooting itself doesn't make you more physically fit. Or smarter. Your skill with...

Im so furious! I've been a frequent victim of debit card fraud and this time it was my bank account itself! $500, poof, gone! I have to get a handle on this Monday, asap! I am so furious. No one can lose $500 and just shrug it off!